pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!

[Edithtj]

@Edithtj oh I really understand your choice, it's so hard to give up on a chance for a pregnancy that you carry and going through the process of having a biological child of your own.

At 36 your chances aren't bad at all! I'm 37 and I consider myself still young

I wish you the best of luck! Once you're in the process you can take it step by step, but the anxiety before you start just wraps all of it so it'll get better...

Thank you for your words. I'm trying to calm down.

 

[Megan0625]

@Edithtj Welcome! I know, IVF is a very daunting process. I was so nervous and scared to start because I had already had so many failures, the thought of spending so much money on something that was not guaranteed was so scary. It will all be worth it in the end We started the IVF process with stimulation injections in January 2022, had our egg retrieval in February, a failed fresh transfer that month, but a successful frozen embryo transfer in May! Went in for a frozen transfer on May 26 and got our first positive pregnancy test on May 31. I would say the most important part is finding a clinic that really cares for you, makes you feel comfortable, and truly advocates for their patients. You are not too old by any means, you can absolutely have a successful and healthy pregnancy, 36 is young! If you ever have any questions or need support, by all means, bring up any concerns you have. People who have never gone through it don't really understand how difficult the fertility journey can be.

 

[elencor]

@Edithtj Welcome and good luck with IVF! I completely understand the anxiety before these treatments, I’ve been there.

How is everyone doing? @WinterBub how are you?? Weren’t you going to have a transfer done in November? Good luck dear

I’m still unemployed. I rejected an offer because it was a very stressful job and thought it wasn’t convenient in my situation, but I haven’t found anything else and now I’m panicking a bit … Step by step, si hope soon I can tell you that all is solved. I’m having trouble enjoying the pregnancy or even thinking about it, I’m very sad that I lost my job which I loved, and I feel like a complete loser. Anyway I’m 10 weeks pregnant, we already told all our family and some friends.

 

[WinterBub]

Hi ladies!

Sorry for my long silence- we had family come to visit, and I just didn't have time for the Internet. Then I realized how much happier I was staying away from the news, social media etc! I have been thinking of you all, and can't believe how fast you're all moving in your pregnancies.

How are you, Megan? Is your blood pressure staying decent?

Are you feeling movement now, Nima? I didn't feel anything until pretty close to 20w! And then once I felt it it was pretty constant

I'm so sorry about your job, elencor. That's awful luck. what industry do you work in? And were you hoping to take some time off when the baby is born? My thought was maybe to try and do some temping (or consulting) until you're ready to be on maternity leave. That way you'd be making some money, but don't have to worry about things like trying to get hired while pregnant. You can then either put the temp work on your CV or just leave it off and explain this whole gap as a break for maternity leave. Just my two cents!

Welcome, Edith. I love the name Edith! I'm sorry that you have found yourself looking at IVF. I agree with your choice to go for IVF. We agreed that we would only do one round, as we can't afford any more. If it doesn't work out, I can live with that, as I gave it a shot. Hope all is going well for you.

AFM- I've been on Lupron for a couple of days to prepare for the FET. I'm not sure what the next steps are. I go in next week for a scan and blood test and then things will be tweaked from there. The transfer is likely to happen towards the end of the month, I think it's all very surreal!

 

[Bevziibubble]

@WinterBub I'm glad you had a good time with family.

Good luck for the FET

 

[Megan0625]

@WinterBub That's so exciting, the time is finally here! I feel the steps for a frozen transfer are so much easier than for a fresh transfer, it will be here before you know it! If I remember correctly, I did the estrogen patch after lupron injections but it's been a few months and pregnancy brain is strong lol. My blood pressure is still a bit elevated, it's been higher the last few times I've checked it but I've also been under a great deal of stress. I've had some crazy things happen with work and then unfortunately, our garage door broke over the weekend and that was a very expensive repair. Great timing! lol. But I am going in for a private 4D ultrasound on Sunday, which I'm super excited about, and we have our 28 week appointment on 11/23, so I'm going to discuss my bp, my birth plan, and whether he thinks induction is the best route.

 

[Nima]

@elencor sorry about being out of work, I know it can be very stressful and hard on your self esteem. Be strong! It doesn't say anything about you. I hope you can enjoy your pregnancy despite of these circumstances.

@WinterBub yay! I am very excited for you. So soon!

@Megan0625 28 weeks! Unbelievable, it goes by so fast. I hope your BP stays OK and you can choose the birth plan you wish for. Have you had any thoughts already?

I am 19 weeks now, starting to plan stuff for after the baby is here. We found a very good daycare for 2 mornings a week for my daughter (I think it will be good for all of us, that she won't be at home with the baby and me all the time) and I made appointments with a hypnobirthing instructor to process my previous birth and make space for the new one. If everything goes well and low risk I'll have this baby at home (like I did with our first).

 

[WinterBub]

That sucks about the garage door, Megan! We've had a lot of unexpected house issues. And it seems they always crop.up at the worst possible time . 28 weeks is amazing! That has gone so fast (at least from over here!) Are you wanting to be induced? I had a c/s, and have no regrets!

Wow, almost halfway, Nima! Did anything specific happen at your last birth that's leading you to want the hypnobirthing instructor? I agree that day care will be great for your daughter! You can have time to rest when she's at school, and she will have her own stuff to get stuck into. I think they really need that stimulation/social interaction etc

Thanks, Bev!

Hope all is going well, elencor.

AFM- I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work early yesterday and they found a functional cyst. They removed it that afternoon, and now I have to take suppressant medications for about a month to attempt a transfer in January. I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing (should I wait and try another month or go forward with this plan..?). I wish I understood more so I could be better informed as to what *I* think my best plan would be. I just ordered the (very expensive ) meds, and will give them a try. I'll have to rethink things if I get horrible side effects or anything like that. Ugh, my stim cycle was so simple, I wasn't expecting any last minute drama. I'd also mentally thought about when a baby transferred in Dec would be born, and gotten excited. Now I just feel depressed about the whole thing.

 

[Megan0625]

@WinterBub Yes, it is going so fast, I can't believe it! I feel so unprepared! We are having a 4D ultrasound this Sunday and then our maternity photoshoot on December 2, so I'm feeling super excited about that. No, I actually want to avoid induction if at all possible but if my blood pressure continues to be a problem, then I will absolutely consider induction if my doctor recommends it. He mentioned inducing me at 37-39 weeks if my bp continues to be elevated to prevent pre-eclampsia. I'm sorry about your cyst, that's so frustrating when those things come up. I had to deal with 3 during the duration of my treatments and they were so disheartening every time; they totally disrupt your plans. I totally understand how you feel, I also had to be on meds to suppress mine and they worked nicely with very minimal side effects. If it makes you feel any better, January will come up so quickly with the approaching holidays! And A successful FET in January could lead to a Fall baby, which would be amazing!

 

[WinterBub]

I think that's the right attitude: it's totally fine to have preferences about the birth, but at the end of the day, you just have to work with whatever baby is doing/your body is doing/the doctor recommends. I hope that your bp behaves between then and now! Enjoy your ultrasound!!!!

I know there's been a lot of cyst talk on this page over the months ...now it is my turn! that's so reassuring that your meds worked really well! I've been trying to chase mine down all day. Even the mail pharmacy is out. Ill have to contact my doctor tomorrow and see how fast I need to start as it looks like it'll take a few days to get it. I'm just getting tired. Your positive experience with the meds has filled me with hope that this will work out!

 

[Nima]

Oh winter I really hope the cyst goes away for good! Cysts are so annoying, they seem to come exactly when you planned something else... and good luck with finding the meds too. I had to find the ivf meds here and it was surprisingly difficult! So frustrating to call all the pharmacies and not to know when you'll be able to start.

I had a good, very fast, very wild birth with my daughter. I want to be able to be more calm and less panicky this time around, for me but also so that I can feel that my daughter won't be traumatized by this. We don't plan for her to be present the whole time but I do imagine she'll be around for parts of it, probably.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope the cyst goes away

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you for the commiseration! They ordered my meds and should hear on Monday if they'll arrive in time for me to start Tuesday. I have some stop gap meds for now. I guess if they don't come on time, this cycle will just be lost and I'll have to start over. Super frustrating, but I need to remember that isn't that bad in the grabd scheme of things!

Sounds like your first birth was a whirlwind, Nima! I hope that you can come up with a plan that you're all comfortable with Do you have family or friends to take your LO? That's so exciting that you guys are already far enough along to have these questions coming up!

 

[elencor]

Oh thank you so much for your kind words
Winter cysts are so frustrating! I had one in July and started on the pill, and by the middle of august it was completely gone!

Guys I had the 12 week ultrasound and all looks great, very low risk for everything that was tested , and it’s a boy! The ob/gyn saw it clearly how do you choose a name? I’m so lost, have no clue where to start. We also told all our relatives and friends and they are so happy, some people even cried.

Nima and Megan do you already have huge bellies? I think the pregnancy won’t feel real until I can feel the baby, it’s so weird.

 

[WinterBub]

Yes, I remember your cyst too- and so glad that you had such a great outcome in the end!! I'm so happy that your friends and family are so excited. That's just so lovely that they're all so happy for you your little boy will be so well loved by everyone around him. And how exciting that it is a boy!

I love names! Have a look at a few websites, and see if any jump out at you as helpful. I really like Nameberry, and the 'if you like this name, you might also like these names' is so accurate for me so, start with one name you know and like and build a list from there! At some point it just clicks into place. Are you wanting a Spanish name? That would help narrow things down right away! You could also look then at name popularity charts from Spain and any other Spanish speaking countries and see if that give you any ideas.

 

[Megan0625]

@elencor I'm so happy for you! That's such fantastic news . 12 weeks is such a huge milestone! Already almost to the second trimester! My belly has finally "popped". I would say somewhere between 24-27 weeks, I noticed huge growth in my baby bump. I was definitely starting to show before that and was wearing maternity pants around 12-14 weeks because I was too bloated to wear my pre-pregnancy pants, but my belly finally "looks" pregnant lol. I totally understand, it didn't feel real at all to me until I started noticing movements. I just felt bloated before that and the ultrasounds would remind me she was in there but it didn't feel real at all. Now, she kicks constantly, I feel her rolling frequently, and she's making it quite difficult to sleep so it finally feels real!

AFM I went in for a 4D ultrasound yesterday and got the most precious pictures of baby girl. It definitely was surreal to see the details. I can't wait to meet her!

 

[Nima]

@elencor that's great news! I am very excited for you. And knowing the gender changes something in how real it feels, doesn't it?
I started showing earlier this time around, but I think until recently only I noticed it. Around week 19 my belly became rounder and it's now very clear I'm pregnant. And finally I can feel him move and kick, which is very nice.
With my daughter we had a list of names and it slowly became shorter. At birth we had 2 names and we found one of them perfect for our daughter. This time I just knew the name before it was clear I was even pregnant, it just came to my mind and stuck there.

@WinterBub I hope you're doing well. Thinking of you.

@Megan0625 this is the most amazing 3d picture! She looks so calm and content in there. Love it.

 

[Bevziibubble]

@elencor Great news!

@Megan0625 beautiful!

 

[Megan0625]

@elencor that's great news! I am very excited for you. And knowing the gender changes something in how real it feels, doesn't it?
I started showing earlier this time around, but I think until recently only I noticed it. Around week 19 my belly became rounder and it's now very clear I'm pregnant. And finally I can feel him move and kick, which is very nice.
With my daughter we had a list of names and it slowly became shorter. At birth we had 2 names and we found one of them perfect for our daughter. This time I just knew the name before it was clear I was even pregnant, it just came to my mind and stuck there.

@WinterBub I hope you're doing well. Thinking of you.

@Megan0625 this is the most amazing 3d picture! She looks so calm and content in there. Love it.

Thank you! Yes, for a baby that kicks me right in the cervix and bladder all night, she sure does look quite content lol. She kicked so hard a few times last night that it woke me up from a dead sleep.

@WinterBub How are you doing?

 

[elencor]

Megan that 4D picture is so beautiful!! That’s so exciting!

@WinterBub I love Nameberry too! I’ve been visiting that forum for years, but the popularity and appreciation of names is very different from country to country and it’s difficult to find there Spanish names that are appropriate in my area. I love names since forever but now that it’s time to find a real name for a real baby it’s very difficult lol, we still don’t have any idea which name we are going to use lol.
@Nima we are trying to do just that, making a list and hoping it becomes shorter with time.

I got a new job, it’s a very exciting opportunity and the conditions are great , but it’s 2 hours away from my house, so I’ll have to move there from Monday to Friday, I’ll start in a couple of weeks. The good thing is I’ll only have to work there for 2 months , then I’ll get the work leave and will come back home. They have a very strict policy that I get a 100% paid pregnancy leave because of the risks at 24 weeks pregnant.

I hope you all are doing great