Pops
Proud Mum & Wifey
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This is long as I wrote it for us and Iris's baby book and don't have time to re-do it for here so it may be advisable to get a coffee and get comfy.....or to change your mind and go read another post!!
Wednesday 4th August was the day after one of two due dates we had given to us and the last of Boyos late shifts. We had a MW appointment at 10am and when she arrived, she asked if I would like a sweep to see what was happening as I was now overdue no matter which EDD was worked to. I agreed and off we went upstairs where she started and her mobile phone promptly rang and because Boyo was next door asleep, she was trying to get it on silent, all whilst still holding onto my cervix! I was half laughing, half thinking was she having a joke!! It wasn't the sort of experience I'd pay to go through for the fun of it but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting either. And it brought good news, we were 1-2cm and favourable! We made another appointment for the following Monday and off she went.
Boyo got up and I told him what had happened and that I felt something may start to happen but to go to work and I'd get him home if I needed to. He grudgingly went in and I stayed indoors and occupied myself with various Friends episodes and films. As the day went on, the cramps and tightenings grew stronger but I felt great so just kept him and my folks updated but carried on as normal, rolling on my ball, ordering a cheeky Chinese for dinner and feeling happy. At about 10pm I text Boyo to make sure he was finishing on time as it felt like I might be needing him home and was very glad when he said he would be. I had some parcels to package up so to keep me busy I wrote all the labels and packaged everything up whilst rolling on my ball and texting Lisa who was wonderful as always.
At midnight on the dot, I heard Boyos car come down the driveway and was over the moon to see him come through the door. I wanted him with me now and he was home. I made him a sandwich and was sat on the floor chatting away whilst he ate it and felt something damp in my trousers. I remember saying I wasn't sure if it was my waters and had a look but decided it wasn't and carried on chatting. We decided to go to bed as I had been up since 7am and Boyo had worked 4 late shifts, all of which had ran into overtime so he was shattered and we felt we may need the energy tomorrow. Off we went to bed, honestly not thinking that anything would be happening imminentley, got in, lay for a matter of minutes and I felt that damp feeling again. I got up and went to the loo and any doubts I had about it being my waters fast disapeared! I went back into the bedroom and told Boyo who bless him, looked a mixture of the most excited I have ever seen someone look and totally and utterly shattered!! It seems our girl didn't really want to us to get much sleep that night as within minutes, the surges were coming every 2 minutes and lasting for a minute or so at a time.
We headed downstairs and I put on my Birth Day outfit of bikini top and sun dress and felt really comfortable and happy. It was gone 1.30am by this point and it was really peaceful, no noise from outside and the house felt calm. We were both just happy that our Missy was finally on her way. It is a feeling I couldn't describe to anyone, something I imagine you only feel at that point in life but one I will remember forever. When the surges didn't let up, we decided to call the MW who said she should come over with them being so close. She was with us in less than 20 minutes and thankfully, agreed that we were having really good, strong surges and that everything seemed to be as it should. Boyo put our music on, some beautiful Sigur Ros which now I am sure I won't be able to ever listen to agaon without getting all teary!
The MW asked us if we wanted her to stay but we felt good and were happy for her to go home and have some sleep and leave us to it. We went upstairs and Boyo ran me a bath which was lovely. I lay in there snoozing between surges and Boyo lay on the hallway floor just outside the door to get some sleep. When I got uncomfortable in there, I got out and sat on the loo seat where again, I dozed happily between surges for a good while. After a while, we went downstairs where I sat on the sofa and Boyo lay on the duvet on the floor in front of me and we both continued to sleep and rest where we could. It was getting light outside by this time and everything was still calm and lovely and I remember we just kept smiling at each other, not saying much....not out loud anyway.
At about 6.30am the surges were getting closer together and even stronger so we called the MW who said she'd be back within the hour. It was 8am when she arrived and she was happy that everything was progressign well....she even said that Missy would hopefully be here by lunchtime....hmmmmmm! At about 9am, Boyo started to get the pool ready and I was concentrating a lot on my breathing to get through the surges, still feeling totally calm, relaxed and happy but noticing a definate rise in the intensity of everything which made me happy as I knew my body was working to bring Missy to us.
The pool was eventually ready and after an internal, I got in and it felt lovely. Boyo sat pouring the warm water over my back while I swayed and looked out of our patio doors to the sunshine in our garden, wondering what the people in the other houses I could see were up to and betting it wasn't as exciting as what was going on in our little house!! The other MW arrived just after I got in the pool but I was so into my breathing and music it was a good hour before I even acknowledged the poor girl! Boyo was running into being awake for 26 hours by this point so I made him go upstairs to have some sleep. I was fine, there were two MWs and he would need his energy for later.....we had no idea just how much at this point.
The surges were really gaining momentum by this point and I finally asked for some gas and air. I really don't think it helped with the feeling at all, what it did do was give me something else to concentrate on and that in itself helped. I didn't get that drunk feeling that people talk about and thankfully it didn't make me sick as it does my Mum. I felt like I wanted to get out of the pool at about lunch timeish and the MW suggested I lay down and try and get some rest – it had been 12 hours solid of surges by this point and I had been awake more than 28 hours barring the very interupted dozing in the night. Instantly I wished I hadn't, it was so horribly uncomfortable and it was the first time I thought anything other than postively. I got back up and needed a wee so made my way to our downstairs loo where I found myself strangely comfortable which is weird as I normally hate it in there! This is where I spent the next few hours!! Sat on the loo in our pokey little downstairs WC! Boyo came back downstairs just after I headed in there and he found it most amusing! He set up a little camp on the floor next to me and we sat chatting between surges and the MW's made themselves and Boyo some toast and tea and bless her, the younger one cleaned our bathroom and washed our dishes for us!
I got back in the pool mid afternoon and started to push but I was sure it was doing nothing so had another internal and I was right, we weren't quite there yet and my cervix was still in the way, although it could be moved. Not long after there was a small ammount of blood in the pool so I had to get out to see where it was coming from but they decided it was nothing of note and I could get back in if I wanted. I however headed back to the bathroom where I would stay for the rest of our time at home.
By 5pm the surges were still coming thick and fast and were really, really strong and I was getting the urge to push. We headed back to the lounge and I lay on the sofa for another internal where they said I was 7cm. I remember getting a bit upset at that point, mainly as I was totally shattered but quickly pulled myself together and got back on track. The MW suggested that if by 7pm nothing had happened we may want to consider going to the hospital, as much because of the sheer length of time I had been in labour as anything and Boyo and I had a chat and decided that we wouldn't wait until then, we would go now. I knew that Missy wasn't coming any time soon – call it intution if you like but I knew our girl wasn't in a hurry and I didn't want to cause me, her or my Boyo any distress and the sensible thing at this point was to go to hospital. I was totally happy with the decision. As much as we wanted a Home Birth, the absolute main goal for us was to have a happy and healthy baby and for us to feel like we had been listened to and our wishes adhered to as much as possible – we definitely got both of these things.
The MW called the ambulance about 6.15pm and by 6.45pm we were at the Royal Surrey. The journey there was bleeding uncomfortable, probably the worst part! They made me lie on a stretcher on my back and strapped me in and my god, was that not a position that worked for me comfort wise! My Boyo followed behind so he had a car to get us home and I never took my eyes off him the whole way there. I did ask if he could take me.....they said no!!
Once we were there, we were taken right up to a delivery room which was in fairness, much nicer than either of us had thought it would be. I was in quite a lot of discomfort at this point and totally and utterly shattered so it was suggested that an Epidural may help, as much to give me some rest as anything. I asked Boyo what he thought and finally agreed to have it done. I sat with my feet on Boyos knees with my head buried in his expecting it to be awful and it really wasn't. I felt absolutely nothing and it went in first time really easy. The funniest part was they gave me gas and air to use while they sorted me out and as I was exhaling, it sounded like Darth Vadar and Boyo was getting me to say “May the Force Be With You” and “Luke I am Your Father” - I was laughing so hard whilst trying to breathe through it all.....he was amazing, as always, kept my spirits up no end. I don't know what I'd have done without him. The MW at the hospital was lovely and I was chatting away to her whilst Boyo went to sort the car out and call the folks and Lisa and was a bit gutted when she said she finished in an hour and wouldn't be my MW all night. Our usual MW came in to find us and make sure we were ok and to ask if we minded if she went home bless her. We said of course not and she gave us hugs and kisses before heading off with strict instructions to let her know when Missy was finally here.
The night shift MW was lovely, a Scottish girl too so we got chatting about that – she stayed with us the entire time which we were surprised at as we had been led to believe they would be in and out and it would be a bit chaotic – maybe we were lucky or maybe they took pity on me but not once did we feel abandoned.
Half hour or so later, the Epidural had kicked in, well, all barring one patch on my lower left side. I was told to lie on my side to see if that helped it seep through any more. Boyo came back and had brought some snacks and drinks for me as I hadn't eaten since my Chinese at 6pm the night before and the MW wanted me to. Strangely, I was in more discomfort now than I had been all day as it was now all concentrated on the one spot – sounds weird but it was really true. I just kept saying that it hurt more now than ever and I was so pleased when the MW said that I wasn't nuts and as it wasn't working in one area, it could well be more painful as everything is going to one part rather than being spread throughout my body. Great!!
The night shift Anasthesiast came in and he was so lovely, Boyo and I were really happy with him, with all the staff and he said to top me up and see if that helped and if not he would pull the line out a bit and hope that it would branch off to the unblocked area. It worked for a little while but in the end, the window as they call it, was back again. He came back and done the pully thing but again, it didn't really work so it was decided they would remove the line and start afresh.
It was about 11pm by now and with the new Epidural line in, they decided to do another internal and we were 9cm which was great. They said they could see Missys head and that she had hair – we asked what colour and she said it was lovely and dark. Again, the Epidural was seeming to work barring that one patch but it wasn't as noticeable this time. We spent the next hour or so chatting and trying to get as much rest as we could which in fairness, wasn't much at all. By just after 12am we were fully dilated and ready to start pushing and I was so happy and excited. Boyo was great, helping me with my breathing, reminding me of everything we had worked through, soft face, keeping energy, hypno techniques etc and we were really getting somewhere. After an hour or so, Missys head was down and we all thought she would be here soon. Everything was going well, I felt good, she seemed happy and I was pushing and it was working.
A Dr came in at this point to see how I was doing as I had been in labour so long by now and she was lovely. We had a chat and she was saying how she wouldn't be needed and I was going to do this on my own! Hmmmmmm!
Suddenly, I remember hearing her heart rate monitor change and I now know it was her heart rate drop. They were very calm about it but Boyo did notice there were a few more people in the room all looking at the print out and keeping a very close eye on it. Shortly after that, her heart rate soared before finally levelling out again. I can't remember how long after this happened it became apparent that Missy Moo had moved and it was the reason that I was starting to struggle with the pushing. The window was now incredibly noticeable again and that was taking most of my concentration rather than using all I had on pushing. It went from seeing Missys lovely head of hair to seeing her ear and she had tilted her chin so was in a really difficult position.
At about 1.30pm, there was a lot of people in the room as Missy wasn't coming, her heart rate was obviously a concern as was the fact that the labour had been so long and I was shattered and in quite a lot of discomfort now. They asked how I felt about having a spinal block and trying a Ventouse delivery, then possible Forceps and finally a C-Section. I asked my Boyo what he thought and all he cared about at this point was me and Missy being ok so I knew the only thing to do was agree – I had to do what was right for all of us and this was it. We had to get our girlie out and this now seemed the best, and possibly only way.
The Anestiasiast went through everything about the spinal block and asked if we had any questions – the only one I asked was “will this one definitely bloody work” !!!! He assured us it would whilst laughing saying it was good I still had a sense of humour...I was being serious!! We got all the stuff read to us, I gave Boyo authority to make any decisions etc and we were taken next door to Theatre where Boyo was taken to get his scrubs on and I was transferred from my bed to the table. They made me lie on my side and put my chin on my chest and pull my knees up and for the first time, I shouted out – it was incredibly uncomfortable and even painful and all I kept thinking was how the hell was I going to stay still enough for him to get a needle in a 8mm area in my back. I think ultimately it was fear that made me lay totally still whilst gripping Boyo for dear life.
Immediately, there was calm. I felt this really warm sensation over my legs and back, burning almost and then I had the weirdest thing ever of seeing someone hold my legs but not be able to feel a single thing. They Anasthesiast done his cold test and after a few minutes, said we were ready to go. Boyo was sat next to me the whole time, holding my hand and telling me everything was ok. I was more worried about him than I was about me – no one was checking he was ok and he had been through more than I had as far as I was concerend. The Drs got me to start pushing which was fairly difficult when I literally could feel nothing and they made half an attempt with the Ventouse but neither Boyo or I believe they ever really intended to use it. It seemed more of a process thing than a real attempt. They quickly moved to the Forceps option and within a few moments, I could hear them saying the cord was around her neck and I looked at Boyo who gave me one of his “everything will be ok” looks and a squeeze. It felt like ages later but finally, Missy was on my chest clearly awake and moving and I have never felt such relief. The tears were going before I knew it and when I looked at Boyo, I honestly thought he was going to pass out with relief that we were both ok. I now know that he had seen what had been happeneing down at the business end and Missy had been out for a while before I knew and she didn't look good. The cord was tight, she was very dark and making no sound. He was terrified but not once did he let me know it. She was taken to be cleaned up and I just lay there with Boyo holding me and crying with happiness, relief, exhaustion....every emotion in the world I think and I know he was the same. It was the most surreal moments of our lives following the birth, we just couldn't believe that after 30 hours, she was finally here. We were parents and our Missy was here. Her time of birth was exactly 3am.
While they were sorting me out, I was apologising to all the medical staff for being a bit vocal when we got into theatre! They all assured me that I hadn't sworn at anyone and was perfetly lovely to them all, especially after everything! I was happy with that as I was so worried I had got snappy with them and they had all been amazing.
They finally brought our girl over to us for that first cuddle and it was amazing. I knew her. We both did. It already felt like she belonged with us and we were a family. I wanted Boyo to have her as quickly as possible so passed her over and they spent the next half hour or so together having cuddles. Her left eye wouldn't close and her little mouth was dropped on the left too, both due to the Forceps and she had a small cut on her head and the usual Forceps mark on her skull. She also had a fairly small but dark bruise from the Ventouse on the back of her head. The Dr told Boyo that they would come back and check her eye in 20 minutes and if it hadn't started to close, they would pop a patch over it and regularly pop some drops in just to keep it moist until she did. Thankfully by then, it was opening and closing and her mouth had fixed itself too.
Once they were happy with that, we were taken back to the delivery room we had been in earlier and Missy was weighed – she was 7lb 6oz. From there, she was given to me for some skin to skin and for her first feed which she loved. She latched immediately and fed like a dream. She has done since. The MW left us and the three of us had our first alone time as a family which is a time I will never forget.
It was gone 4.30am by now and we decided that as much as it pained us, Boyo should go home and get some sleep so he was ok for tomorrow. He had only had a couple of hours since he got up on the Wednesday morning bless him and he had really been through it. Seeing him walk round the corner to leave was horrible, the worst part of any of it for me. A MW came and made me some toast and tea and I ate and drank that while telling our girlie how wonderful her Daddy was and how much we both loved her before we were finally taken down to the Post Natal ward at gone 6am. Our girlie dozed but I couldn't take my eyes off her and was happy just to lie there and wait for Boyo to get back to us which he did by 10am.
We spent the day in the ward and we were finally discharged and got out at about 4pm and headed home for our first night as a family. We ordered a Pizza Hut and that was it, the start of our life as a family of 3......
The birth may not have gone as we had “planned” in the sense of delivering at home but it did in many ways. I felt like we were in control and was consulted and listened to on everything. I knew what was happening at all times and fully understood why and how everything was going to go at each stage. The staff at the hospital were amazing and most importantly, me and our girlie were absolutely fine at the end of it.
It was a mammoth labour with just about everything that could happen occuring at some point but it was an awesome experience and I have nothing but fond thoughts and memories of it. We feel truly lucky and blessed and when people say they are sorry we didn't get the birth we wanted or that it didn't go to plan, it gets me a little as it did.....no, we didn't deliver at home but we did the hard bit there and we had a level of control over everything and were kept in the loop the entire time. I know they only mean well but if you are going to feel anything for us, please don't let it be anything other than happy............
I guess now we just need to wait for the physical wounds to heal and we can get on with number 2!!!
xxx
I've just read this and cried!! Some pics here:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5262585&l=36533b5ca4&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5269929&l=10d2aa0fb7&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5322353&l=cc38ab11a5&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5334478&l=c13872ebbc&id=623346388
Wednesday 4th August was the day after one of two due dates we had given to us and the last of Boyos late shifts. We had a MW appointment at 10am and when she arrived, she asked if I would like a sweep to see what was happening as I was now overdue no matter which EDD was worked to. I agreed and off we went upstairs where she started and her mobile phone promptly rang and because Boyo was next door asleep, she was trying to get it on silent, all whilst still holding onto my cervix! I was half laughing, half thinking was she having a joke!! It wasn't the sort of experience I'd pay to go through for the fun of it but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting either. And it brought good news, we were 1-2cm and favourable! We made another appointment for the following Monday and off she went.
Boyo got up and I told him what had happened and that I felt something may start to happen but to go to work and I'd get him home if I needed to. He grudgingly went in and I stayed indoors and occupied myself with various Friends episodes and films. As the day went on, the cramps and tightenings grew stronger but I felt great so just kept him and my folks updated but carried on as normal, rolling on my ball, ordering a cheeky Chinese for dinner and feeling happy. At about 10pm I text Boyo to make sure he was finishing on time as it felt like I might be needing him home and was very glad when he said he would be. I had some parcels to package up so to keep me busy I wrote all the labels and packaged everything up whilst rolling on my ball and texting Lisa who was wonderful as always.
At midnight on the dot, I heard Boyos car come down the driveway and was over the moon to see him come through the door. I wanted him with me now and he was home. I made him a sandwich and was sat on the floor chatting away whilst he ate it and felt something damp in my trousers. I remember saying I wasn't sure if it was my waters and had a look but decided it wasn't and carried on chatting. We decided to go to bed as I had been up since 7am and Boyo had worked 4 late shifts, all of which had ran into overtime so he was shattered and we felt we may need the energy tomorrow. Off we went to bed, honestly not thinking that anything would be happening imminentley, got in, lay for a matter of minutes and I felt that damp feeling again. I got up and went to the loo and any doubts I had about it being my waters fast disapeared! I went back into the bedroom and told Boyo who bless him, looked a mixture of the most excited I have ever seen someone look and totally and utterly shattered!! It seems our girl didn't really want to us to get much sleep that night as within minutes, the surges were coming every 2 minutes and lasting for a minute or so at a time.
We headed downstairs and I put on my Birth Day outfit of bikini top and sun dress and felt really comfortable and happy. It was gone 1.30am by this point and it was really peaceful, no noise from outside and the house felt calm. We were both just happy that our Missy was finally on her way. It is a feeling I couldn't describe to anyone, something I imagine you only feel at that point in life but one I will remember forever. When the surges didn't let up, we decided to call the MW who said she should come over with them being so close. She was with us in less than 20 minutes and thankfully, agreed that we were having really good, strong surges and that everything seemed to be as it should. Boyo put our music on, some beautiful Sigur Ros which now I am sure I won't be able to ever listen to agaon without getting all teary!
The MW asked us if we wanted her to stay but we felt good and were happy for her to go home and have some sleep and leave us to it. We went upstairs and Boyo ran me a bath which was lovely. I lay in there snoozing between surges and Boyo lay on the hallway floor just outside the door to get some sleep. When I got uncomfortable in there, I got out and sat on the loo seat where again, I dozed happily between surges for a good while. After a while, we went downstairs where I sat on the sofa and Boyo lay on the duvet on the floor in front of me and we both continued to sleep and rest where we could. It was getting light outside by this time and everything was still calm and lovely and I remember we just kept smiling at each other, not saying much....not out loud anyway.
At about 6.30am the surges were getting closer together and even stronger so we called the MW who said she'd be back within the hour. It was 8am when she arrived and she was happy that everything was progressign well....she even said that Missy would hopefully be here by lunchtime....hmmmmmm! At about 9am, Boyo started to get the pool ready and I was concentrating a lot on my breathing to get through the surges, still feeling totally calm, relaxed and happy but noticing a definate rise in the intensity of everything which made me happy as I knew my body was working to bring Missy to us.
The pool was eventually ready and after an internal, I got in and it felt lovely. Boyo sat pouring the warm water over my back while I swayed and looked out of our patio doors to the sunshine in our garden, wondering what the people in the other houses I could see were up to and betting it wasn't as exciting as what was going on in our little house!! The other MW arrived just after I got in the pool but I was so into my breathing and music it was a good hour before I even acknowledged the poor girl! Boyo was running into being awake for 26 hours by this point so I made him go upstairs to have some sleep. I was fine, there were two MWs and he would need his energy for later.....we had no idea just how much at this point.
The surges were really gaining momentum by this point and I finally asked for some gas and air. I really don't think it helped with the feeling at all, what it did do was give me something else to concentrate on and that in itself helped. I didn't get that drunk feeling that people talk about and thankfully it didn't make me sick as it does my Mum. I felt like I wanted to get out of the pool at about lunch timeish and the MW suggested I lay down and try and get some rest – it had been 12 hours solid of surges by this point and I had been awake more than 28 hours barring the very interupted dozing in the night. Instantly I wished I hadn't, it was so horribly uncomfortable and it was the first time I thought anything other than postively. I got back up and needed a wee so made my way to our downstairs loo where I found myself strangely comfortable which is weird as I normally hate it in there! This is where I spent the next few hours!! Sat on the loo in our pokey little downstairs WC! Boyo came back downstairs just after I headed in there and he found it most amusing! He set up a little camp on the floor next to me and we sat chatting between surges and the MW's made themselves and Boyo some toast and tea and bless her, the younger one cleaned our bathroom and washed our dishes for us!
I got back in the pool mid afternoon and started to push but I was sure it was doing nothing so had another internal and I was right, we weren't quite there yet and my cervix was still in the way, although it could be moved. Not long after there was a small ammount of blood in the pool so I had to get out to see where it was coming from but they decided it was nothing of note and I could get back in if I wanted. I however headed back to the bathroom where I would stay for the rest of our time at home.
By 5pm the surges were still coming thick and fast and were really, really strong and I was getting the urge to push. We headed back to the lounge and I lay on the sofa for another internal where they said I was 7cm. I remember getting a bit upset at that point, mainly as I was totally shattered but quickly pulled myself together and got back on track. The MW suggested that if by 7pm nothing had happened we may want to consider going to the hospital, as much because of the sheer length of time I had been in labour as anything and Boyo and I had a chat and decided that we wouldn't wait until then, we would go now. I knew that Missy wasn't coming any time soon – call it intution if you like but I knew our girl wasn't in a hurry and I didn't want to cause me, her or my Boyo any distress and the sensible thing at this point was to go to hospital. I was totally happy with the decision. As much as we wanted a Home Birth, the absolute main goal for us was to have a happy and healthy baby and for us to feel like we had been listened to and our wishes adhered to as much as possible – we definitely got both of these things.
The MW called the ambulance about 6.15pm and by 6.45pm we were at the Royal Surrey. The journey there was bleeding uncomfortable, probably the worst part! They made me lie on a stretcher on my back and strapped me in and my god, was that not a position that worked for me comfort wise! My Boyo followed behind so he had a car to get us home and I never took my eyes off him the whole way there. I did ask if he could take me.....they said no!!
Once we were there, we were taken right up to a delivery room which was in fairness, much nicer than either of us had thought it would be. I was in quite a lot of discomfort at this point and totally and utterly shattered so it was suggested that an Epidural may help, as much to give me some rest as anything. I asked Boyo what he thought and finally agreed to have it done. I sat with my feet on Boyos knees with my head buried in his expecting it to be awful and it really wasn't. I felt absolutely nothing and it went in first time really easy. The funniest part was they gave me gas and air to use while they sorted me out and as I was exhaling, it sounded like Darth Vadar and Boyo was getting me to say “May the Force Be With You” and “Luke I am Your Father” - I was laughing so hard whilst trying to breathe through it all.....he was amazing, as always, kept my spirits up no end. I don't know what I'd have done without him. The MW at the hospital was lovely and I was chatting away to her whilst Boyo went to sort the car out and call the folks and Lisa and was a bit gutted when she said she finished in an hour and wouldn't be my MW all night. Our usual MW came in to find us and make sure we were ok and to ask if we minded if she went home bless her. We said of course not and she gave us hugs and kisses before heading off with strict instructions to let her know when Missy was finally here.
The night shift MW was lovely, a Scottish girl too so we got chatting about that – she stayed with us the entire time which we were surprised at as we had been led to believe they would be in and out and it would be a bit chaotic – maybe we were lucky or maybe they took pity on me but not once did we feel abandoned.
Half hour or so later, the Epidural had kicked in, well, all barring one patch on my lower left side. I was told to lie on my side to see if that helped it seep through any more. Boyo came back and had brought some snacks and drinks for me as I hadn't eaten since my Chinese at 6pm the night before and the MW wanted me to. Strangely, I was in more discomfort now than I had been all day as it was now all concentrated on the one spot – sounds weird but it was really true. I just kept saying that it hurt more now than ever and I was so pleased when the MW said that I wasn't nuts and as it wasn't working in one area, it could well be more painful as everything is going to one part rather than being spread throughout my body. Great!!
The night shift Anasthesiast came in and he was so lovely, Boyo and I were really happy with him, with all the staff and he said to top me up and see if that helped and if not he would pull the line out a bit and hope that it would branch off to the unblocked area. It worked for a little while but in the end, the window as they call it, was back again. He came back and done the pully thing but again, it didn't really work so it was decided they would remove the line and start afresh.
It was about 11pm by now and with the new Epidural line in, they decided to do another internal and we were 9cm which was great. They said they could see Missys head and that she had hair – we asked what colour and she said it was lovely and dark. Again, the Epidural was seeming to work barring that one patch but it wasn't as noticeable this time. We spent the next hour or so chatting and trying to get as much rest as we could which in fairness, wasn't much at all. By just after 12am we were fully dilated and ready to start pushing and I was so happy and excited. Boyo was great, helping me with my breathing, reminding me of everything we had worked through, soft face, keeping energy, hypno techniques etc and we were really getting somewhere. After an hour or so, Missys head was down and we all thought she would be here soon. Everything was going well, I felt good, she seemed happy and I was pushing and it was working.
A Dr came in at this point to see how I was doing as I had been in labour so long by now and she was lovely. We had a chat and she was saying how she wouldn't be needed and I was going to do this on my own! Hmmmmmm!
Suddenly, I remember hearing her heart rate monitor change and I now know it was her heart rate drop. They were very calm about it but Boyo did notice there were a few more people in the room all looking at the print out and keeping a very close eye on it. Shortly after that, her heart rate soared before finally levelling out again. I can't remember how long after this happened it became apparent that Missy Moo had moved and it was the reason that I was starting to struggle with the pushing. The window was now incredibly noticeable again and that was taking most of my concentration rather than using all I had on pushing. It went from seeing Missys lovely head of hair to seeing her ear and she had tilted her chin so was in a really difficult position.
At about 1.30pm, there was a lot of people in the room as Missy wasn't coming, her heart rate was obviously a concern as was the fact that the labour had been so long and I was shattered and in quite a lot of discomfort now. They asked how I felt about having a spinal block and trying a Ventouse delivery, then possible Forceps and finally a C-Section. I asked my Boyo what he thought and all he cared about at this point was me and Missy being ok so I knew the only thing to do was agree – I had to do what was right for all of us and this was it. We had to get our girlie out and this now seemed the best, and possibly only way.
The Anestiasiast went through everything about the spinal block and asked if we had any questions – the only one I asked was “will this one definitely bloody work” !!!! He assured us it would whilst laughing saying it was good I still had a sense of humour...I was being serious!! We got all the stuff read to us, I gave Boyo authority to make any decisions etc and we were taken next door to Theatre where Boyo was taken to get his scrubs on and I was transferred from my bed to the table. They made me lie on my side and put my chin on my chest and pull my knees up and for the first time, I shouted out – it was incredibly uncomfortable and even painful and all I kept thinking was how the hell was I going to stay still enough for him to get a needle in a 8mm area in my back. I think ultimately it was fear that made me lay totally still whilst gripping Boyo for dear life.
Immediately, there was calm. I felt this really warm sensation over my legs and back, burning almost and then I had the weirdest thing ever of seeing someone hold my legs but not be able to feel a single thing. They Anasthesiast done his cold test and after a few minutes, said we were ready to go. Boyo was sat next to me the whole time, holding my hand and telling me everything was ok. I was more worried about him than I was about me – no one was checking he was ok and he had been through more than I had as far as I was concerend. The Drs got me to start pushing which was fairly difficult when I literally could feel nothing and they made half an attempt with the Ventouse but neither Boyo or I believe they ever really intended to use it. It seemed more of a process thing than a real attempt. They quickly moved to the Forceps option and within a few moments, I could hear them saying the cord was around her neck and I looked at Boyo who gave me one of his “everything will be ok” looks and a squeeze. It felt like ages later but finally, Missy was on my chest clearly awake and moving and I have never felt such relief. The tears were going before I knew it and when I looked at Boyo, I honestly thought he was going to pass out with relief that we were both ok. I now know that he had seen what had been happeneing down at the business end and Missy had been out for a while before I knew and she didn't look good. The cord was tight, she was very dark and making no sound. He was terrified but not once did he let me know it. She was taken to be cleaned up and I just lay there with Boyo holding me and crying with happiness, relief, exhaustion....every emotion in the world I think and I know he was the same. It was the most surreal moments of our lives following the birth, we just couldn't believe that after 30 hours, she was finally here. We were parents and our Missy was here. Her time of birth was exactly 3am.
While they were sorting me out, I was apologising to all the medical staff for being a bit vocal when we got into theatre! They all assured me that I hadn't sworn at anyone and was perfetly lovely to them all, especially after everything! I was happy with that as I was so worried I had got snappy with them and they had all been amazing.
They finally brought our girl over to us for that first cuddle and it was amazing. I knew her. We both did. It already felt like she belonged with us and we were a family. I wanted Boyo to have her as quickly as possible so passed her over and they spent the next half hour or so together having cuddles. Her left eye wouldn't close and her little mouth was dropped on the left too, both due to the Forceps and she had a small cut on her head and the usual Forceps mark on her skull. She also had a fairly small but dark bruise from the Ventouse on the back of her head. The Dr told Boyo that they would come back and check her eye in 20 minutes and if it hadn't started to close, they would pop a patch over it and regularly pop some drops in just to keep it moist until she did. Thankfully by then, it was opening and closing and her mouth had fixed itself too.
Once they were happy with that, we were taken back to the delivery room we had been in earlier and Missy was weighed – she was 7lb 6oz. From there, she was given to me for some skin to skin and for her first feed which she loved. She latched immediately and fed like a dream. She has done since. The MW left us and the three of us had our first alone time as a family which is a time I will never forget.
It was gone 4.30am by now and we decided that as much as it pained us, Boyo should go home and get some sleep so he was ok for tomorrow. He had only had a couple of hours since he got up on the Wednesday morning bless him and he had really been through it. Seeing him walk round the corner to leave was horrible, the worst part of any of it for me. A MW came and made me some toast and tea and I ate and drank that while telling our girlie how wonderful her Daddy was and how much we both loved her before we were finally taken down to the Post Natal ward at gone 6am. Our girlie dozed but I couldn't take my eyes off her and was happy just to lie there and wait for Boyo to get back to us which he did by 10am.
We spent the day in the ward and we were finally discharged and got out at about 4pm and headed home for our first night as a family. We ordered a Pizza Hut and that was it, the start of our life as a family of 3......
The birth may not have gone as we had “planned” in the sense of delivering at home but it did in many ways. I felt like we were in control and was consulted and listened to on everything. I knew what was happening at all times and fully understood why and how everything was going to go at each stage. The staff at the hospital were amazing and most importantly, me and our girlie were absolutely fine at the end of it.
It was a mammoth labour with just about everything that could happen occuring at some point but it was an awesome experience and I have nothing but fond thoughts and memories of it. We feel truly lucky and blessed and when people say they are sorry we didn't get the birth we wanted or that it didn't go to plan, it gets me a little as it did.....no, we didn't deliver at home but we did the hard bit there and we had a level of control over everything and were kept in the loop the entire time. I know they only mean well but if you are going to feel anything for us, please don't let it be anything other than happy............
I guess now we just need to wait for the physical wounds to heal and we can get on with number 2!!!
xxx
I've just read this and cried!! Some pics here:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5262585&l=36533b5ca4&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5269929&l=10d2aa0fb7&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5322353&l=cc38ab11a5&id=623346388
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5334478&l=c13872ebbc&id=623346388
