General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Short post. So tired.

Shae I agree the dress is beyond beautiful. I don’t think it’s risqué at all. I feel like that bodice is a very popular style. Always nice to have mom’s approval though to have peace of mind. Glad the toning the hair worked.

winter sorry about the injections. It would be nice to have someone do it. My mom had to do hers into muscle, so my uncle (he lived a block away) would come do it every morning before we left for school. I know my stepdad hadn’t moved us in yet, but looking back that was kind of messed up. We didn’t move until after she was pregnant if I’m not mistaken. What a d*. Off track sorry about the side effects but hoping it means things are moving along

 

[WinterBub]

That's so nice of your uncle... And so not nice of your stepdad! So glad that your Mom got to have your brothers- they seem lovely from what you've said about them I met my first adult ivf baby recently and it was kind of weird timing! Hope you have a nice weekend, and get some time to relax and recuperate.

 

[gigglebox]

Winter I was once misdiagnosed as having severe vitamin B deficiency and had to inject myself in the stomach daily for a week before they figured out they had exposed my labs to light and they were erroneous. That was fun. I feel your pain and hope the end result is totally worth it! I am kind of excited to be vicariously experiencing this through you however. I thank you for taking us along for the ride! I can't remember if I asked or not but what is the timeline for everything in this process?

Shae that dress!!! LOVE it! I don't think the translucent bodice is trashy at all. Maybe it it was completely sheer, but it has enough opacity that I think it looks quite lovely. A nice walk between the lines of modern and traditional. How clever to tone your own extensions! I don't think I would have thought to do that.

Awww Dobs I"m sorry hon, we do all root for that second line and no period sometimes, don't we? I'm sorry but also not, haha. I mean that with love. But take some time for self-care, I know that feeling so well, it's a complicated one. Hmm wonder what OA is up to now...

I guess I never did update myself...
Things are finally calming down a bit here. We had a friend living in the basement for a few months. He wasn't a bad tenant, the problem was just the lack of space in our home. We went down in the basement to play on rainy day or hot days so with that option gone we spent more time being lazy upstairs and watching more tv than usual. Since he moved out, I turned the downstairs into our new school and the kids live it. There's also a large play space for the kids and there are days now where we spend the entire morning down there. DS2 has officially begun kindergarten. I can already tell he's going to be great with numbers but his struggle with be with writing. He does it, but pretty reluctantly. He's been having fun with a project I made up, making our own alphabet book. I'm having him do it a couple letters at a time, all he has to do is draw the letter on construction paper and then cut out images from old magazines of things that start with that letter. He gets super excited to find things, and also to use scissors and glue. I'm simultaneously having him practice the upper and lower case versions of the letters in a writing book.

So the school is downstairs, and my old studio was also moved; I was sharing my studio (for video making as well as painting) with our storage room. We ended up moving all three kids into one room (they wanted to), so the spare room (used to be DS3's) is now my new studio/guest room. I painted it a soft pink color (I didn't know it was going to be so pink, but oh well!) and now my desk is in there too which is great; it was on the kitchen table

So my storage room was moved into the old guest room, which was in the basement, and the old studio is now the gym room/hubby's new space. So we've been rearranging EVERYTHING! We really need to tackle cleaning our room next and finish painting it! It's literally half painted right now! But we were each so excited about getting our own spaces that hubby and I had been focusing on those.

Other than all that, things with my MIL are going OK. She went into the ER a couple of weeks ago with a fever due to an infection from her surgery, but she is doing fine now. She lost all her hair and was very upset at first, but is owning it now. She doesn't like the wigs because they're hot and itchy but she is getting into scarves

My SIL is super pregnant and due in a couple of weeks. She finally caved and asked me to watch her younger kiddo, so I get him three days a week which is fine with me because I could use the extra cash! It's not a ton but I'll take it. I'm pleasantly surprised she offered to pay me.

In other very sad news, my other SIL's brother (who is married to her best friend) just had a baby and he was deprived of oxygen during birth. He is in the NICU and undergoing therapeutic hypothermia treatment where they lower the body of the baby for 3 days to try and minimize the effects of possible brain damage. So, so sad. Prayers are most definitely welcomed for that little baby boy and his parents. I can't even imagine. It's just so hard to think about and makes you want to hug your kids. This is their first kid; I just hope he's OK. The prognosis is anything from very minor to severe delays, cerebral palsy, or even death. I don't know them personally, only met the couple at my brother's wedding, but still........Breaks my heart.

And in weight loss I'm still sitting at 168.8 but I was up to 171.2 or something like that so I'm happy to be headed in the right direction. That weight is where I was stuck for months so we'll see, that may just be where my body is happy right now. I am going to have to incorporate more cardio I think. Getting strong though! I can almost curl a full set of 20lb dumbbells!

 

[shaescott]

Thank you everyone re: the dress! I just hope SO likes it. He’s an artist and so very critical of visual things, I once got a new set of lingerie and he was like “I feel like it doesn’t fit you right” so I told him flat out that if he doesn’t like it he better pretend he does, because if he makes a single negative comment it will absolutely ruin the day for me. He now understands why it hurt to insult the fit of the lingerie when I had just bought it new just for him lol, so he seems to know better now.

Gigs I’m so sorry to hear about your SIL’s brother’s baby. That’s such a terrible situation to be in. Will be praying that he makes a full recovery.

 

[WinterBub]

That's terrible about the messed up labs, giggle! Thankfully they worked out it was a mistake I haven't minded the actual process of doing the injection, but I hate mixing the medication/worrying I've done something wrong etc. I spilled one one night when I was changing the needle top on the syringe, and I've been on edge ever since! I did my last shot before the retrieval last night

The process in a nutshell is: take medication to stimulate lots of follicles to grow in your ovaries, then after a few days they add a medication to prevent you from ovulating. Then, I've just gone on like that for a week+ until last night, when I was told to "trigger" with a shot of hcg. 36 hours later I'll be doing the surgery to have the eggs retrieved. It's been a wild life experience! Really hopeful about tomorrow, and no matter what happens, I'm glad to be done with this phase. We agreed on one single egg retrieval, so this is it for me.

Your house reorg sounds amazing, giggle! Love working with what you have and refreshing it all. We swapped our play room and gym/junk/storage room during the height of COVID, and it was such a fun project Your school room in particular sounds fabulous!

I'm so sorry about that poor little baby. It is so hard to understand how things like that can even happen. Just heartbreaking. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

Shae- there's zero chance that your OH won't love that dress! The dress itself is stunning, and you just look beautiful in it, too. My bet is he will cry when you walk down the aisle. And LOL at the accidental lingerie insult what was he thinking?!

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter oooo interesting timing for sure! Hopefully means good juju. That's awesome that it's your last shot before the retrieval! Will you be testing out the trigger shot? Or just going to give it a good patient run before testing?

Shae I hope he cries hahaha. He'd be crazy not to love it. It's gorgeous. You're gorgeous. It's super flattering. Remind me, are you doing a first look or waiting to let him see down the aisle? Boys are silly. I'm glad he gets why that comment would hurt and glad you've set clear expectations. But still he won't need them because he will be enamored with your beauty and you all day.

Gigs praying for the little boy. That's so tough. I'm literally tearing up over here. Sending all my positive energy his way.

I cannot believe. We exposed it to light, our bad! Do we have a facepalm emoji? Ugh.

The school and play space sounds amazing! Lucky boys! I love that alphabet book idea! Do you think the writing is like a full on OT thing or just getting used to it thing? A's getting evaled for OT with his handwriting. It was like day 1, the RSP teacher went WTF why didn't they evaluate him when you asked? This is clearly not expected development, especially having been in preschool where they practiced letters.

I was going to ask wasn't all your painting stuff down there at some point. Glad you have a space for it again! That's beyond sweet that they wanted to bunk up! I love that!

Glad MIL is doing well. It definitely is hot. Hopefully she can get a good variety of lightweight and cute scarves. Maybe it'd be cute if everyone in the fam bought her a cute scarf? Or is that like too much? I'm weird so I'd love to have scarves that were picked out just for me by people.

Yay for getting paid! Always kind of an awkward conversation like yeah I know we're fam BUT LOL. Are they going to join the homeschool? I forgot how old they are.

omg no need to be sorry. There was that part of me with the fomo, but the relief is so real. It's not how I want to have a child, and I can barely handle my life as is. I can't even get on here to post! I'm not responding to my work emails for 2-3 days, it's so unlike me! I'm just so busy.

Yay getting stronger! I feel you. I think my body is happy where it's at, but I'm not LOL. I did get that 23 and me thing that says this is my genetically predisposed weight, so maybe I should just accept it.

Re OA I told him I was starting to spiral, and he said he'd make time for me on Sunday before he flies out again. So we'll see because he didn't give me a specific time.

AFM so crazy. The meetings upon meetings and lack of prep. I'm exhausted. I really like this school though.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs we’re not doing a first look, maybe a first touch but he doesn’t get to see the dress until I’m walking down the aisle.

Sorry A is struggling with his letters, and ugh so annoying they didn’t evaluate him earlier.

Winter fingers crossed your retrieval goes well! Keep us in the loop!

 

[shaescott]

Oh I forgot to mention:
A car drove into our wedding venue barn on Friday. Massive damage. Thank GOD they’ve already started repairs. Like, what are the chances????

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo can you trust him not to peek with a first touch? That is nuts about the car! Especially with how diligent they are about drinking. Hopefully all the damage is fixed long before your wedding.

yeah like I was telling them his grip/inability to write/cut after two years is a big deal. It’s not like incoming kindred who just started practicing or never practiced. He was exposed and I’ve had other fine motor concerns. His new school is doing a lot. They got BTs doing extended learning so he has a therapist with him at his morning and after school. And they know I’m struggling with the prep and having to leave work right away, so they managed to get someone there up til 3:45 (school is out at 2:30). They don’t know what to do because he’s clearly not suited to SDC but he’s not even close ti thriving in Gen ed. so we’ll see how his IEP goes

 

[shaescott]

Dobs it wasn’t a drunk driver, it was a random dude in the morning, they said there was a medical issue.
I’m glad this new school is doing a better job.

 

[WinterBub]

Oh no, shae! I hope your venue will be ok in time. I feel so bad for whoever is meant to have it for this weekend. I imagine they must be beside themselves.

I used hcg to trigger, and was really tempted to try an hpt test, just to see how dark the line was. But decided against it, as I would've been flipping out if it wasn't perfect. The retrieval went well- I got 15 eggs in all! During monitoring they saw fewer follicles than that, so was pleasantly surprised. I felt pretty bad yesterday, though. Really sore. Still sore today, but a good night's sleep helped. Just need to get through the next week. I was just focused on getting to the retrieval and kind of ignored all the drawbacks. happy I did it, but feel terrible at the moment. It's one of those things that is well worth it if it works in the end, but a lot to go through if you don't get that happy ending.

I'm glad that you're always advocating for A, Dobby. I hope that they can help him to thrive in general ed. And from photos you've shared- you look great! I wonder if you are at where you should be genetically. I've put on 8lb from IVF. Hoping it will go by itself, as I think it is mostly swelling etc.... I have a hard time getting under 160, and can eat normally/exercise and be in a window 160-165. By BMI, I should be under 158 (I think). I think in reality, imay just accept 160 as my reasonable compromise!

I hope that you get to talk to OA Are you on any dating sites or anything else at the moment? Or basically committed to him for now?

And I love the scarf idea that Dobby suggested, giggle!

 

[DobbyForever]

. That’s awful. Hopefully he’s doing alright now and nobody else was injured.

Winter so sorry you're feeling awful! But wow! 15 eggs! That's so amazing! Sorry about the weight gain side effect, hopefully just bloat and water weight from the hormones. So thrilled the retrieval went better than expected!!!

Yeah my body is def happy here. I'm not exercising or eating well though. It's not the weight that bothers me so much as the loss of muscle tone and clearly increase in fat. But I just don't have the energy to do anything anymore after work and until a few nights ago A was sleeping in my room (and I keep the bike in my room). But there's been a lot of not sticking to my fasting schedule, more Starbucks mornings that I can afford financially or calorically, and lots of being so hungry after work that I cave and grab a cheeseburger from McD's. So really it's my own fault. I need to figure out a good snacking schedule because I only have a morning break and lunch break. I need to figure out what I want to/ can snack on at those times. But like today and yesterday I forgot my lunch at home to make matters worse.

I'm on bumble/ been on it since we officially broke up. It's just slim pickings. Even now, the two people I'd even think about dating: one lives way to far (accidentally matched him while I was visiting my brother at his college) and the other I don't think means serious business. I get the sense he just wants a play thing for the days his kids are with their mom. Plus his kids are a little too old for me (15, 9) and his divorce isn't final yet.

Turns out I misread the text so I don't see OA until next weekend. Annoying lol.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae saw this and thought of you title was time to normalize fun non alcohol drinks at weddings

https://www.theknot.com/content/non...MCeJcr8RX8mkDlHkRyxzQPwXtElhON80WZQ1pDLpOXANQ

 

[shaescott]

Dobs hm yeah I’ll have to see what the bar options are, if they offer signature cocktails they might allow a signature mocktail as well. People can also request virgin versions of drinks, I used to do that a lot when I was younger.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter glad the retrieval was successful! FX you have a very healthy embryo to implant next month.

Shae the dress is gorgeous!!! I think your SO will be speechless!

I can't believe he made a comment about your lingerie.

Oh wow! I hope they can get it repaired quickly for others that will have their events in the near future!

Gigs, the rearranging sounds busy but a nice layout in the end. I hope MIL stays well and stays out of the ER/hospital.

I am glad that SIl is going to let you watch her kids. I hope that she will loosen up a bit. Oh and so so sad about other SILs brother's baby. I will pray that the effects will be very minor.

Also way to go on curling 20lb dumbells!

Dobby, I'm sorry for the delayed referral to OT but glad it is happening.


Sorry for the quick responses everyone. Trying to get them in before having to cook dinner. Just been busy with work and we had to work Saturday last week.

 

[WinterBub]

Oooo, signature mocktail! That's a great idea. A lot of events I've been to have had beer/wine provided, but people need to pay for hard liquor. I think that is a pretty fair way to go.

Thank you for the support, ladies. This has been quite the experience it is just a lot physically, and emotionally. And I've been so thankful for y'all since I joined here! I got news that 12 fertilized, so great results so far. Just expect to lose a lot at some point, given my previous losses. It is quite a relief, though... I was worried about doing the shots correctly etc. It is nice that everything is now out of my hands for the moment, so whatever will be will be. Still worried about bad news, but at least good/bad news isn't directly from something that I do, iykwim.

Sorry that the dating pool is proving shallow, Dobby. i wish that OA was better able to be a proper partner, as obviously there's some good stuff there. I wish that you could've had your talk to at least work out what is going on there. And I think you and I have very similar food cravings I do enjoy a McDonalds cheese burger, and I always feel like people look down on me for it! my parents used to get us McD for a treat, and at least in part, I crave it to treat myself. I get Americanos from Starbucks with a flavor in it. It is pretty good! And not that bad calorie wise. I had a fancy frap recently, and the calories on that were

Does anyone follow Pretty anywhere else? I've been wondering how she's doing with her new baby

 

[shaescott]

Flueks thank you! And yeah lol I was like ???? why did you think that was okay ???????

Winter I did the math and still can’t afford a beer and wine only hoping to stretch for an open cocktail hour.
Yay for 12 fertilized! Hopefully they develop normally and are genetically normal, fingers crossed!

 

[DobbyForever]

Quick pop in I follow pretty on insta, she posts a pic of the kiddos about once a month but I don’t always see it because I miss it on my feed lol. Last post was a cute one of them all out shopping about three weeks ago

 

[WinterBub]

At the end of the day, people are there to celebrate you! I wouldn't care at all if I went to a wedding that had no alcohol. I get that a cocktail hour would be a happy medium, so hope your budget lets you do that but don't stress about it if it doesn't!

Glad that Pretty is doing well

 

[shaescott]

Having a mini panic moment:
I’ve been spotting on an off all cycle. Fine, whatever. That happens to me sometimes. I was spotting yesterday, figured well AF is due soon. Today is 12dpo and now I’m NOT spotting. Wtf? My boobs are killing me which is fairly normal for my PMS, though I don’t recall having night sweats so far. And of course I checked my cervical fluid right after peeing so I can’t just take a test to assuage my fears. I don’t know if I even had pullout sex during my fertile period, in fact I don’t think I did (but can’t be certain). So I’m sure I’m just overreacting and I’ll be spotting in an hour but it’d be really cool if my body could be a bit more consistent with spotting cuz AGH stress.

ETA: okay I ovulated like 2 days after SO’s grandmother died and he was *not* giving me sex during that week so I’m fairly certain I’m good