I don't want my MIL to babysit!

Irish Eyes said:

lesleyann said:

Liesje said:

Just because someone does all the "work" that they're the "main parent". I do all of the work because my OH is never home. He's never once woken up with him, changed a diaper or even fed him, because he works and I don't. I don't really think that makes me the "main parent" or have any higher deciding power regarding our children.
How would you feel if he decided he was the "main breadwinner" and started making the financial decisions?

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He is the main and only breadwinner in our house so yes he does get final say if he want to upgrade the tv package or mobile contracts. I tell him what shopping we need he pays, I pick out stuff to buy for the house he pays...

He says its up to me who looks after the kids and will ask if I'm really sure before we leave the kids with anyone.

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I would be really pissed off if my hubby ever felt that he had the final say in anything financial just because he's currently earning the money. Just like he would be (rightly) pissed off if i ever felt I had the final say when it comes to LO. We're 50/50 on everything. If he ever used the phrase "It's my money" then he'd know exactly where he could shove it - not that he ever would.

I'm looking after LO which enables him to work full time without paying for childcare. He works full time which enables me to stay home with LO and not worry about money. This doesn't give either of us the right to the final say in anything

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devon_91x said:

No it's nothing to do with money at all, and tbh i am looking into seeing if i can afford/get help with nursery fees so that my LO can go to nursery rather than have my mum and MIL look after her.

I know nobody is trying to be critical but im assuming that you probably have a MIL who you get on well with and have never looked down on you as a parent and condesended you?

This is a woman who made me feel bad for formula feeding and told the rest of OHs family that i stopped breast feeding which made me feel like sh*t. She let herself into my flat whilst in was in hospital (bare in mind ive asked for the key back!) to change my bed sheets and took my washing home - which included my dirty underwear, rude, no? Then told OHs family she was doing my washing because i couldnt do it myself. Shes constantly slates my mum for no reason and makes bitchy remarks about my 15 YEAR OLD sister Also when she was a few days old i walked into the garden to find she had taken a bottle out and started to feed her, without asking me. For the first few weeks i wanted me and OH to be the only ones that fed her, so we could get that "bond". To feed my baby without even asking is just rude.

And yeah before anyone says it, i completly agree that my reasons for not letting her babysit are because i have an issue with her, rather than worry about my child being with her. I would never stop her having contact with my daughter, but at the moment i just dont want her to be alone with her. When, and if, she looks after my LO when i go back to work, she will be 9 months by then and hopefully my feelings would have changed. Plus my LO will be alot older and i will (hopefully) feel more comfortable leaving her with babysitters.

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