TTC #1- Looking for buddies!

Bleeding has picked up significantly, passed a few clots too. I have no idea how much blood is too much but this feels like way too much for this pregnancy to continue. I'll keep you guys posted with next steps from my doc tomorrow but if I had to guess I'd say it's over.
 
Passed the baby this morning. Large mass slightly smaller than the palm of my hand. I put some gloves on and tried looking around in it for the baby, is that weird? I was curious. Wanted to see her. There was a ton of what I'm assuming to be was muscle and tissue holding it together so pretty hard to see what was going on in there. After a couple mins it felt pretty invasive so I just let it be. Never really saw anything. I'm disappointed but not devastated. I'm just hoping miscarriage is not my new trend. I've got lots of comfort in knowing that God will take care of me and my family. His plan for us is so much greater than anything I can imagine for myself.

I left a message for my doc this morning. I'm assuming she will book me a scan to confirm.

Tb hope you're doing well and enjoying all the snuggles.

Steph - are you going to keep testing?
 
I'm so sorry omg :( There's still a chance it's part of the SH, but the scan will tell you more. Sending you lots of strength and hugs to get through this horrible time!!!
 
Scan this afternoon at 2pm - I'll be back to update later. In the meantime - got my COVID vax this morning. :shock:
 
Soany hugs to you Dream. That's not weird at all, I did the same thing with my miscarriage. I just so badly wanted to see my baby but wasn't able to see much of anything. Will be checking back to see your update after the scan.

On another note, when I got my covid shots it went smoothly, no symptoms except for a little soreness in my arm. Hoping the same for you.
 
Keeping my fingers crossed it was the SH that you passed and your little girl is still doing well!

Got my 2nd COVID shot last week and didn't have any symptoms either!
 
Scan complete - empty uterus. My doc will probably give me a call tomorrow just to reconfirm what the ultrasound tech already told me. I hope she will give us the green light to start TTC again right away. Thank you guys so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it.

Hubby and I are drinking and having sushi tonight.
 
Steph- I’m so sorry, I hope things changed since your last post. Thinking about you!

dream- I’m so terribly sorry you’ve lost your baby girl. I’m sending you all the love and prayers!

I don’t feel right posting about our newest little one in the midst of the bad news. I’ll update you guys in a few days!
 
Oh TB I can't speak for Steph but your good news makes me feel better, makes me happy. Don't feel like you have to sensor your beautiful miracle for me.

I just got off the phone with my doc. She asked me if I wanted a fertility clinic referral. She said usually she waits until 3 miscarriages but if I wanted one now after 2 she would give it to me. I said thanks but no thanks, I dont feel ready to throw myself back into that level of stress just yet. If God forbid we have a 3rd miscarriage I'll reconsider but for now I'm okay to keep trying without the added pressure. She said if/when I get pregnant again she would put me on progesterone to help support it, which I think could be helpful. She recommended we take 1 cycle off TTC before trying again.... what do you guys think about that? I want to just dive back in.

She's sending me a req to check my HCG in a week or two just to ensure it's back to zero. But my uterus looks good and healthy, nothing funky going on in there so thats good.

Steph - we're thinking of you always. Hugs!
 
Dream- glad the ultrasound didn't show anything concerning with your uterus. I have no advice as far as waiting or TTC right away.

Steph- thinking of you, sending you lots of hugs
 
Ok long post warning lol this is whole birth story


So Friday was the last day of school. The students left at 1130. At 12:30 I started having some contractions but nothing crazy. I left work when I got the all clear for the summer from my principal. I decided to go to my parents house because they live about 10 min from the hospital whereas I live 40 minutes away. On the way there contractions started getting stronger but again not crazy, I could talk through them. I had my husband leave work though because it seemed to be getting worse. Then at 2 the contractions were barely Braxton Hicks feeling, intensity wise and started spacing back out. We decide to go shopping so I could walk around and see if they pick up again.. they don’t. They are gone. Ugh. We go home and eat some dinner and chill out. This is exactly what happened the first time. Seemingly timetable contractions and then poof. Gone. A few hours later it was go time. So out of hope for a repeat, I do exactly what I did last time, lay on the couch. I cuddle up with my 2 year old and we watch a little Rio. Contractions start against 6p but immediately more painful. I text my mom to come on over. I say “worst case, we hang out and watch a movie” in case it wasn’t the real deal again. They do pick up and we decide to get K down for bed before we go. So we do bath and bedtime routine while waiting for my parents. I had to just breathe through the intense contractions I was getting. Finally at 7:23 we pull out of driveway (yes I am clock checking everything because I want to know how long everything takes lol) we park at the hospital at 7:57. Just like last time, I think my water breaks as I’m trying to walk to the door. It’s trickling down my leg so I’m unsure because my OB said there was a big bag of water right at the opening of my cervix so it would burst. ‍♀️and again just like last time we had to pick up the phone to call security to unlock the doors. My husband is repeating the security guard out loud so I can know.. the dude is telling him to use a different entrance (this is where we are supposed to go!) I finally yell “open the f*^%ing door! I’m in labor!” And he unlocks it lol. Then we get to the elevators and we both completely forget which floor to go to... so we go to like all of them before we finally get to the correct one lol. I was breathing really well through contractions so the nurses were in no rush to get me going. Well finally after leaving me in a triage room to change clothes for like 10min, they come in and check me. “6.5-7” she says. I bust out laughing. I said “with my first I arrived like this at a 7 and was holding her within 10 minutes”. Well this got them moving faster finally. Again I was on all fours as it felt the best and was starting to get the sensation to push while on the gurney headed to Delivery room. One nurse went to get the OB to come break my water because she could feel it bulging when she checked me. OB said “I’ll be right there, need to use restroom.” Well we get into delivery room and they get me on the bed but everyone is calm and quiet. Lights are low. And I said “I need to push!” And they said “ok.” Like nbd go for it. (Last time they freaked out and told me not to and checked my dilation again..without asking...!) so I start pushing and my water breaks. OB walks in at that time and casually just sits quietly at the end of my bed. No one was telling me when or how to push. Everyone was quiet and just giving encouragement every now and then. 3 minutes later they have me grab baby and pull her up and help me turn over to my back. Husband says “we want delayed cord clamping, last time everyone was in a rush and it didn’t seem like we got it” and OB said “ok, you got it” and she just sat back and relaxed. 5 minutes later(!!!) she said “it’s no longer pulsing so let’s go ahead and cut it” . Delivered the placenta a few minutes later without the help of Pitocin (last time they told me they were giving me the shot as they gave it to me- basically had no say! ) I had no tearing and minimal bleeding. I felt like I was never even pregnant immediately! Recovery second time has been waaay better.

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TB - OMG that's soo exciting congrats! She's beautiful. Kaydence looks sooo happy to be a big sister, amazing to see. I'm glad you were able to get the delayed cord clamping like you wanted this time.
 
Wow what a story Tb!! Thanks for sharing :) It all sounds like perfect timing for pretty much everything. First that it was the last day of school (like how did baby time that!!!), then leaving for the hospital after putting Kaydence to bed, and then just again one of the fastest deliveries ever :D

She's gorgeous and Kaydence will be the best big sister!

So glad to hear recovery has been easy too. How long did you stay in the hospital? How have those first few days been at home? Is it as exhausting as you remember? Worse? Better?:D
 
Thanks ladies! I think the hardest thing is not giving my whole attention to Kaydence and just trying to keep up with her! I’m really nervous about my husband going back to work!! Olivia was having trouble nursing after we came home and that was hard and stressful. I had to pump and syringe feed her a few times. Luckily she figured it out again and we are doing great there. She’s a biiiig sleeper right now so not too bad yet in that area. I’ll be thrilled if she stays that way lol so both worse and better depending on which aspect we are talking about lol
We stayed 24 hours. We could have stayed overnight again but we were missing K and wanted to be there when she woke up!
 
What a wonderful birth story Tb! Such sweet pics <3
Sorry to hear you had trouble with nursing at first, I know how stressful it can be!
I felt the same, like I wasn't able to give enough attention to Leon. When my husband went back to work it was an adjustment but we got through it! It feels like that was so long ago now...
 
@tbfromlv - massive congratulations, what a gorgeous girl to complete your gorgeous family.

@Dream143r - so sorry to hear about the miscarriage. How are you feeling now you’ve had some time to process it? How’s husband?

@SunnyBe - everything going okay with you still???

My blood test on Friday was negative of course. Last week was a pretty dark time to be honest. We’re not entirely sure what our next steps are but it’s definitely not IVF again. My husband is completely against it due to what happened the first time and how horrendous the past couple of weeks have been. I’m relieved that the decision has been taken out of my hands really. We’re going to book a follow up with our clinic and go from there. Considering trying ovulation induction (with monitoring). I did a few rounds of clomid on the NHS before we went private for IVF which didn’t work but it wasn’t monitored very well so you never know.
 
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