TTC/Pregnancy while Breastfeeding and Tandem Nursing: Information and Support

[misspriss]

I recently found out I am pregnant again, still tandem nursing! DS is not nursing much, just 5 to 10 minutes before bed, I do plan to wean him I am not sure if I should wait until my milk goes, wait for his 4th birthday, or just do it sooner more gradually (less milk each night until he just doesn't get any).

DD I plan to nurse through like I did with DS when I was pregnant with her.

My breasts and nipples are way more sore than they were in my last pregnancy, much more like my first pregnancy.

 

[BunnyN]

Misspriss, lovely to see you again! We are expecting our 3rd this month. This time I didn't feed through pregnancy though because DS self weaned just before I got my BFP. I think he might have noticed something before I did!

Yo

 

[RainingLove]

Hello everyone! I hope I'm in the right place. If not I'm sorry please let me know where I should post this. I am hoping to find some support/advice/suggestions.

My little one will be 10 months on Monday. We want to start TTC. I haven't had any periods yet....not sure if I should be concerned or not.

We bedshare and she very much loves to nurse. No end in sight.

I'm not sure if getting pregnant is even a possibility even though we would like to. Any insight? Thank you so much in advance!

 

[misspriss]

My period rerurned at 8.5 months with one, cosleeping and night nursing. Returned at 15 or 16 months with DD, tandem nursing and night nursing. Just depends I guess!

 

[gingmg]

Came back to update- my FET transfer was a success! I am now 7.5 weeks pregnant and still nursing my 2 year old.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations hun!

 

[misspriss]

Congratulations!!

 

[BunnyN]

Congratulations! Let us know how it goes with the pregnancy and BFing.

 

[Mafi419]

I don't know if someone can help me here, I don't know what to do, I just know I'm not fine with the options I've been given. i still nurse my LO, he loves it so much. We decided that we wanted to try #2, and as a sam-sex couple we went through IUI. First cycle (spontaneous one) failled, second one (with gonal and stimulation) worked and I got a BFP. I started bleeding the next day and run blood tests and found out I had a chemical pregnancy (my urine tests still test positive, I don't know how that's even possible because on Saturday my hcg levels were 7 and last positive pregnancy was yesterday).
I decided to go clean with my OB and tell him i still nurse my LO (he didn't ask before, I didn't tell him). He told me he doesn't think the chemical pregnancy was because of that, but he told me I have to stop nursing so that the treatment can be successfull. He didn't say it was impossible, but that it would help a lot.
I reduce the feedings drastically and right now my LO only nurses before going to sleep, during the night and when he gets hurt (like when he falls). I don't feel confortable weaning him completely. But I don't want to postpone getting pregnant for several reasons. I'm completely turned, I just want to cry all the time. With my first we did at home insemination and worked first time. I don't think I have fertility issues. That being said, the IUI are expensive and now we only have 4 vials from same donor (that is no longer donating), so we can't really keep trying. I'm scared, I don't know if I caused the chemical pregnancy because I didn't tell the doctor I was nursing. I have this terrible feeling that I chose to breastfeed instead of protecting an unborn potential life. I know this isn't very logical, i don't think this at a rational level, but I'm very emotional over this and I don't know how to find a middle ground here.

 

[gingmg]

I'm really sorry this happened Mafi. Big hugs. I'm not an expert but I don't think breastfeeding caused the chemical. From what I understand, nursing can inhibit implantation if your hormone levels haven't returned to normal but I don't think it can cause a miscarriage. Have you had all your hormones checked? Is your prolactin level back to normal? Were your cycles regular? How old is your son? I recently went through a FET while still nursing my son and lied to the clinic in order to be able to do so. I felt the same as you, when they told me I had to wean, I cried and cried and was so upset because it didn't feel right. I did cut down but I didn't stop nursing. I have friends that were not able to conceive until they weaned so there is some truth to what your doctor is saying. However, many many many women can and do get pregnant while breastfeeding so it's not a blanket statement that holds true for everyone. Kellymom has good resources to help figure out who might need to wean in order to conceive and who wouldn't.

We are a same sex couple too so I totally understand the fear of running out of sperm. I wanted my children to be 100% related to each other so it was important to us to use the same donor too. I guess in the end, if we had no choice and went through all the vials, it would have been extremely sad, but we would have chosen a different donor. The difference with us is that we did IVF, so I had one frozen embryo left over from our first cycle and we had two vials of sperm left if we needed to start over with a fresh IVF cycle. I did have fertility issues so IUIs were not successful for us.

If your hormone levels are completely back to normal, you might not need to wean. If they are not back to normal yet, you might choose to wean or wait some more time before trying again so that they can get back to normal. It's a really hard decision to make.

 

[misspriss]

*Hugs* I'm sorry you have gone through this. We had a chemical at 15 months post partum before we conceived DD. I know breastfeeding doesn't "cause" it, but it almost felt like my body wasn't quite ready or something. Two cycles/3 months later we conceived DD and had a great pregnancy - I continued to nurse DS through the entire pregnancy, but we did cut back to nights, naps, and booboos only pretty early on.

I am finally about to wean DS completely by his 4th birthday, DD is still a champion nurser, and I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant again. This one was a surprise while we were tandem nursing, and again, at 18 months post partum.

 

[Mafi419]

Gingmg, thank you so much for your response. It's so hard to find people in a similar situation! I haven't had my hormones checked, I think they do that for IVF, but not for IUI, at least not here. He put me on progesterone after de insemination. I've had my period regularly since my son was 6 months old. He is 2 years and 3 months old. I've noticed that my luteal phase now is a little shorter than it was before. Befora I had my son my cycles were 28-29 days, after I had my son my cycles are around 26-28 days (and luteal phase ranges between 11 to 14 days). But that's not that short, right?
I asked the doctor to have my hormones checked, but he said there was no point on doing that, that everything was fine if I had my periods. He said prolactine eventually stabilizes so it shouldn't be preventing me from having a decent progesterone level. But to be on the safe side I was thinking about asking my GP to giv me the papers to have that checked anyway.
And the thing with the donor is exactly that, if we use it all of course we can always have another donor, but we sooo wanted to use the same one :/ my LO used to nurse maybe 6-8 days a day and I've reduced it like in half at the moment. He is nursing before going to sleep, a couple of times during the night and sometimes when he wakes up and I'm still there.

 

[gingmg]

Your son is similar age to my son, and nursing about the same too. Your cycles sound regular so I don't think nursing should interfere with you getting pregnant, but that's my own non professional opinion. The friends I had that had problems conceiving while still nursing where nursing 11 and 13 month olds- which is very different than nursing a two year old. I think the chemical, unfortunately, was just bad luck. With only 4 vials of sperm left, I completely understand your fears, but I think it sounds unlikely that you would have fertility issues because of nursing. I know you got lucky conceiving your son on the first try, but try to remember that with no fertility issues it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive. I don't think it will take you that long, I'm just trying to put it out there what is considered "normal ". How you proceed is of course completely up to you, it's a lot to weigh out. I hope you can come to a decision that you feel comfortable with. They do say you are more fertile after a chemical or miscarriage so maybe your lucky cycle is coming up??

 

[Mafi419]

Thank you for that! Yesterday I found out that some new vials were available for purchase at the bank sperm (From the same donor, probably vials that were reserved by some other family that gave up on them) so we bought one more, IUI ready, just in case. And that made me feel much better. If the vials are still available in April we might purchase one more.
I know that this cycle should be my most fertile one, because of the chemical pregnancy and also because I abruptly changed nursing patterns, but the doctor insists it's best for me to wait one cycle my wife agrees I really wanted to try right away, but I don't even know when I'm going to ovulate this cycle, I guess I'm waiting one cycle the doctor told us that we could try ICI at the clinic (for legal purposes, if we do it at the clinic my wife will legally be registred as mother at birth, instead of having to adopt my biological child) like we did with our first (at the time we were in the UK so we tried at home), maybe to take stress out of the equation. But now my big question is, should I do a medicated cycle or a spontaneous one? Or maybe a natural cycle with trigger shot only? Would a medicated cycle increase my odds?

 

[Mafi419]

Well, we ended up trying on our own at-home insemination with frozen sperm and it worked I just hope this time everything goes well. I do feel light contractions when I breastfeed my LO, so I'm reducing it as much as possible just for reassurance

 

[gingmg]

Congrats Mafia! So happy for you!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations!

 

[misspriss]

Congrats!

 

[Mafi419]

Hi ladies, just one question. I've been reading that one of the first pregnancy symptons women might have is breast soreness/tenderness. I remember having that symptom only with my first (up until I was 7 weeks at least, then I had other symptoms). I'm not having that at all. I've also read that the soreness is felt because of milk glandes that start multiplying and blood flow that increases. Is it possible that with nursing mamas we don't feel that so early on or so strong because we are still breastfeeding? Did you experience this at all?

 

[misspriss]

Not early, no. It was a major symptom with first pregnancy, not with second, and with third it is almost exclisively nipple tenderness and it didn't come about until second tri.