Pregnant, 1 one stand, He's infertile.

[SleepyBaby]

Yeah the title sums it all up.

Was talking to a guy on a dating app, we decided to meet up. He flaked so i went ahead and went out for a drink anyway with friends.
On the way home I, in all my wisdom, decided to phone the guy and tell him what a great night he missed, even though it was a completely different night than the date night planned.

So he came over.

He said about another date but had to change it, then the next date date he slept thought it because he was hungover so we called it a day, left it on good terms.

11 days later I got a BFP, sore boobs and crying at the world made me test.

I tried to meet him again in person and he was up for it, but had to rearrange the time we set, so I got him to phone me when he was home.

I told him I am pregnant. He told me he's infertile.

I have not slept with anyone else in months.

I mean.... I dunno, venting here. Anyone got any ideas on what to be doing?

 

[Bevziibubble]

I think he must be lying. He's probably in shock and in denial.

 

[AngelUK]

I agree, he is in denial or lying to get out of the responsibility! Or he was infertile and now he isn't. I have heard of things like that happening with men. It will be easy enough to prove paternity.
I hope it all works out for you and baby.

 

[Kiwiberry]

Definitely in denial I'd say. Just tell him you're willing to take a DNA test after the baby is born to prove that he's the father. I've run into a lot of situations with other people that think they're infertile but then end up pregnant. I'm one of them, I was born three months premature and was told my whole childhood that I wouldn't be able to have kids, look at me now I have 4 beautiful children.

 

[monroea]

My brother in law was told he was infertile and now has two children. I'm sorry he's being so irresponsible. You've got this!

 

[MamaGeWishes]

I think he's lying. Also thinks he's hiding something. There is no way he's never available for dates or always has to reschedule for one reason or another. I would just tell him that I'd be willing to take a paternity test, and leave it at that for now. Don't stress MaMa! Side Note: Me and one of my best friends swore we couldnt have kids even after trying.. and she has a now 5 yr old and I am currently 7weeks. Good luck, hang in there

 

[SleepyBaby]

Thanks all! hes blocked me off his fb and told me he deleted it, funny that my alt account ( family one used to share pics of people passed) shows I can add him as a friend.

Hes accused me of lying, he says he believes me but is going to get a sperm count done, he believes me but needs a DNA, he believes me but....

He said he was coming over last night to chill and talk, then went silent yesterday, woke up today to a message saying " wasn't i meant to come over today, not yesterday?" I have 3 other kids, no, I don't want you here right off the bat being around them before I know you.

 

[KatBar]

Sorry you're having this experience .

Agree with other posters, he sounds like his just trying to get out of things! If you haven't slept with anyone but him, then has to be him.

My hubby has really bad sperm (1% normal healthy sperm). Our first was an IVF baby, but number 2 and 3 have been naturally conceived despite all the odds. So even if his not lying about being infertile, still doesn't completely rule out he could still have some good swimmers in the pile.

Hope you're able to resolve things a bit and get him onboard!

 

[DobbyForever]

Hey. Sending hugs. It's good that you aren't seeing him with rose colored glasses. I agree with everyone else. Yes, there are technically now paternity tests that can be done during pregnancy, but they are expensive. It's better to just wait until the baby is born unless he wants to fork over the money for it sooner. You've let him know that you're pregnant, and it's his. That's all you can do. He can either step up and be there during the pregnancy or he can continue to be awol. I agree, something is shady about him. As a resident dating app single mom as well, the stupid things boys say for casual encounters is beyond. Or maybe he truly did think he was infertile. All that matters is he's proven himself to be an unreliable partner. He has the opportunity to shock us and be a reliable dad, but prepare for the worst and hope for the best there.

I am more worried about you. How are you feeling with the pregnancy? Do you have emotional and physical support? My relationship while pregnant was very unhealthy, so I had support beyond my partner. These forums are great with the pregnancy groups and other women being pregnant with you. And, of course, if you have someone in person to go with you to appointments and share the joy with that's awesome. But we're here for you!

 

[DobbyForever]

He does read very shady, and Id say this even if he didn't because lawyers daughter and had a nearly 2 year custody battle with my ex. Stop talking on the phone. Have everything in text. Always be calm and to the point and civil. As matter of fact as possible. Invite him to your appointments. Make a documented effort to include him. Because proving paternity doesn't just force financial responsibility, it's going to give him joint custody. So that's something you have to consider and prepare for as well.

 

[SleepyBaby]

At this point Im just done with him, its been a month and the drama has been overwhelming. Ive spent to much energy trying to understand him and not enough trying to get my own head on straight! I was done having kids, I am not in the right place for another in any of the ways but I will get there!

thank you for the replies, you have helped me feel less crazy witch and more im not over reacting im just reacting, which helps a lot!

 

[DobbyForever]

Definitely not crazy! And it's okay to be done with his drama! You don't need that stress. You're allowed to prioritize your mental health and sanity and take care of you. We're here if you ever need to vent or just want to share pregnancy updates!

 

[Bevziibubble]

That's totally understandable you're feeling like this. Thinking of you

 

[Shezza84uk]

Yeah the title sums it all up.

Was talking to a guy on a dating app, we decided to meet up. He flaked so i went ahead and went out for a drink anyway with friends.
On the way home I, in all my wisdom, decided to phone the guy and tell him what a great night he missed, even though it was a completely different night than the date night planned.

So he came over.

He said about another date but had to change it, then the next date date he slept thought it because he was hungover so we called it a day, left it on good terms.

11 days later I got a BFP, sore boobs and crying at the world made me test.

I tried to meet him again in person and he was up for it, but had to rearrange the time we set, so I got him to phone me when he was home.

I told him I am pregnant. He told me he's infertile.

I have not slept with anyone else in months.

I mean.... I dunno, venting here. Anyone got any ideas on what to be doing?

Hmm that old chestnut! I’d be intrigued who told him he was infertile

I don’t understand why this is still used as an excuse to deny paternity. I hope you’ve managed to pull him out, don’t let him make you doubt what you know as facts.