On the fence

[Teri7489]

Hey you lot

I'm back after a long while but in need on the sensible advice I know I can rely on.

I split with my abusive husband and have since met a lovely new man (2 years between them) thing in my ex didn't take it well and ramped up his abuse and has attacked me again multiple times. We have moved home, got restraining order which he breached, he's on bail, etc.

Anyway, I've been with my new partner for a year and we have discussed the future. I have children and he doesn't, and he would like to at some point. I have said not just now, I have to wait until the divorce is finalised then we can try.

Am I being silly in even considering it? My ex is a very abusive man, but I adore my partner and would love to have a child with him at some point. After 14 years of hell with one monster, it's nice to finally to be with a decent man. I'm just worried that I'm not thinking clearly, risking my life and ruining his.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry about your ex. He sounds awful.
You're not being silly for considering another baby. It's natural. It's so sad he's in the way of that. Is there a chance he could go to jail? Life would be a lot easier if he did

 

[motherofboys]

I hate that he is still controlling your life even though he is now your ex. He really shouldn't be a part of the equation but I can see why he is. I don't know the right decision but I don't think you're being silly at all.

 

[Teri7489]

Yes there is the possibility of a jail sentence as he has a non harassment order breach plus a stalking charge. It would be so much easier if that were to happen. I just wish I could move on without this constant black cloud, it's not fair on any of us.

 

[Suggerhoney]

Oh my hon I am so so sorry with all u have been through that's absolutely terrible. I hate it that he still controls you even now. Bloke should be locked up and never aloud near you or the kids again.

I'm so happy u have finally found happiness with a nice new man and are being treated as u should and not veing abused. No man should ever lay a finger on a womon it makes me sick.

U have every right to start a new family with ure new partner. U have been together a year so why not just go for it.
U deserve to be happy and have a happy life. Sending u big hugs hon.

 

[Teri7489]

Thanks so much for being kind ladies, means so much.

I'm really hoping I can get to a stage of being settled. Nice to hear I'm not crazy for worrying but also good to hear I'm not wrong to consider having a baby with my new partner. It would mean the world to him.