Miscarriage Facts & Myths

[maww]

Thank you for this Wobbles! It helped me understand what to look for, what to freak out about and what to relax about so the info is incredibly helpful. Best wishes to everyone in here.

 

[scarlet123]

Hello all, I fond out I was pregnant about three weeks ago just before I was due to go on holiday to Greece. went to the drs and he said to come back at 8 weeks. (I was five weeks at this time) About 8 days in to my holiday I had a bleed (I was six weeks by this time) I was really upset and went to bed. I bled for about three hours and had a shower in the morning and passed two small clots about the size of two grapes. Didnt bleed again until on the flight home! meanwhile still had all the pregnancy symptoms. I bled for about three hours again and then stopped. Went to the drs the next day and he seemed very uninterested and said yes you probably did have a miscarriage and sent me away and said 'take care' Thanks very much I thought!!!! Its now another week past and I am still getting pregnancy symptoms, very sore boobs etc. took a pregnancy test last night and still positive. I am very confused right now. i'd just like this all to be over and confirmed. I'd just like to know if there is a baby there or not so I can grieve and move on. I feel like I am in limbo. does anyone know if I'd still have hcg traces 11 days after bleeding? could I still have tissue in my womb that holds the hcg hormone? I feel that women are not treated very well when it comes to miscarriage in the uk!!!! I just feel that my dr could have at least sent me for a test just to confirm if I had miscarried or not! I have worked since I was 16 and pay my taxes. Disgusting treatment really! anyway, rant over! Can anyone help me? I am so confused!

 

[KahluaCupcake]

This was very uncomfortable to read, but I am happy for it. I feel more educated knowing what is normal, what is not, and what to look for.
I am very sad to learn how long it may take for a normal period to return. And since I only successfully conceived using clomid, I'm afraid that since it is suggested to wait six months to use it again, I may be looking at not getting pregnant again for quite a while. This is all very disheartening.
However, again, I am thankful to be aware. That way I will not be shocked, hurt, and surprised when my doctor repeats this information.
Thank you for the information. This forum has made me cry, and brought me comfort. I somehow always knew I was going to end up here. I just hope that eventually I will be able to move on, and we can be happy.

 

[YoungOptimist]

I have recently had a miscarriage and all I have been able to do is lay in bed thinking about what I did to cause it. This helped me realize that it might have not been my fault after all. I feel quite a bit better. Still devastated, but moving forward and going to try again in the future. Thankyou.

 

[ExhaustedinNC]

I'm new here, and I'm sorry if this is just more rehashing, but I just need to talk to people who may have has similar experiences. It's a long story, and I'm still dealing with so much pain, but I just need to share and get it out and see if anyone has any advice. Please, just a note, I'm a fixer. It's my personality. I know there are things here beyond my control, and yes many people think things happen for large, cosmic reasons and I totally am one of them. But just as things may happen for a larger reason, there IS the practical implementation of those grand plans, like the baby was just not well. My body has fought this miscarriage since the day that baby died, and the circumstances I'll describe below are REAL circumstances that must have played some role. I just want to understand what that role was, and I want to feel better, and be active & go for walks and be able to sit and do my work without crazy feelings and pains in my lower abdomen, pelvis, and hip. I am working so hard to come to terms with losing my baby, and I want to get to a point where we can try again. I can't do that if I still don't know what is wrong with me :"(

I'm 29, and my husband and I got pregnant last April after being off birth control for maybe a month--really nice, yes? We had been married over 5 years and though we are both graduate students, we were so excited to start a family. The problems just started from there.

I wanted to stay with my current OB/GYN when we became pregnant, but it was impossible. I could normally get in same day to see her for something as trivial as a yeast infection, but now it was "you have to wait until you are at least 8 weeks," and "bring your deposit!" This is was my first time being pregnant and I simply wanted to talk to her straight forwardly about what to expect. I ended up writing to their CEO and complaining, but still no dice. I used the rec of a few local friends to use the local midwife group. They were great and told me what to expect before my first official visit.

The day of our first official baby appointment, I was over 9 weeks pregnant and no problems thus far. On the drive to the clinic, we were "T-boned" by a girl who completely ran a red light at around 45 mph. I was driving and she drove directly into my door. The door hit me, I slammed into the glove compartment area between the front seats. Both cars were totaled. It was dramatic to ay the least. The girl was obviously going through some mental/emotional problems of her own--never even apologized or asked if we were ok. I couldn't get out of the car--had to climb out through the passenger side.

Once I was up, I had to sit down. Immediately I had shooting pain from my pelvic bone area up my lower abdomen. It felt like electric shocks, I could almost visualize how it looked when they'd shoot up. Lots of lower abdominal and right hip pain. I was still in shock when I went into the ambulance. I kept checking to make sure I wasn't bleeding vaginally bc the pain was so dramatic, but there wasn't any. At the hospital, they could do no x-rays or anything bc of the baby. They felt around my lower abdomen and shuffled me off to the midwives. They had me do an ultrasound and we saw the baby for the first time. It moved a little! We were so relieved. This was July 6th. They said the baby was about 9 weeks 3 days to 9 weeks 6 days.

Immediately following the accident, we had to find a car bc ours was now totaled and we shared one. The more I walked, the worse and worse my lower back pain and pelvic pain became. The ER doctors told me it was pain from the seatbelt, which didn't quite make sense bc the pain was in my lower right back and low abdomen shooting up from my pelvic bone area. Plus the car hit me from my left side; it didn't really tighten too much as we were thrust sideways, not forward. The pain kept increasing, so I decided to go the doctor, but they couldn't do a whole lot bc of the pregnancy. They sent me to an orthopedic. By this point, I could barely walk or sit up. I had to be laying down, or the pain was ridiculous.

The night of July 22, I started getting some of those electric, shooting pains upwards from my vaginal area and pelvic bone again. I felt crampy. I went to the bathroom and there was a very small amount of old, brown blood. I tried to remain calm bc I know some women experience some spotting when pregnant. I hadn't thus far and was now coming to the end of 12 weeks according to the ultrasound the day of my accident. A little later, I had some bright red on the toilet paper when I wiped along with a tiny clot. I immediately called my midwives. It was 11:30pm and they were good about calming me. They asked what my blood type was--I never found out bc the day of my first appointment was the day of the accident and they were more focused on doing an ultrasound. She said she would call me Sat morning to check and make sure my blood type wasn't negative bc I may need some sort of injection if it was to protect the baby.

Saturday: I get the call and I'm A-. My husband is positive, so they want me to come in on Monday for a check-up and a RhoGam injection. She assures me that since I wasn't really bleeding, it was probably ok. I told her about the shooting pain and she said that was probably more my back and hip injury from the accident.

Monday morning, we go in for the check up with just a nurse who's at the clinic that day. The two midwives aren't in. They check for a heartbeat. Nothing. They get a random doctor to come do an ultrasound. He keeps saying that miscarrying at 9 weeks is common. I try to explain I should be almost 13 weeks. He doesn't seem to get it. He sends my husband and I over to get a better ultrasound--this machine is old, he says. He's pretty sure it's no longer alive, but still. Terrible bedside manner. We're devastated. At the 2nd ultrasound on the newer machine, the size of the baby was about 9 weeks 6 days.

We go back and one of my midwives is there. She gives me the options. She says it's possible the accident played a role. I can wait, get a D&C, or induce miscarriage right away bc my "cervix is completely closed." We don't know why I bled, but right now it appears my body is not recognizing that the baby is not alive. I chose to induce. I couldn't stand the idea that it was just going to be inside of me like that, just floating around. They said it should take 2 to three days and will be more blood and clots than I thought was possible. They pushed in the pills that would soften my cervix, that would help it "all come out."

I got home and was shocked when my water broke. I don't know why I didn't realize that would happen. It felt like a water ballon popped inside of me and then the gush. It didn't hurt. I still cried.

They were right, it was amazing what came out. I stayed calm. It reminded me of pushing play-dough through tubes as a kid. So much came out looking almost solid and cylindrical. I just wished it was play-dough. I won't forget what that looked like, ever. The days started to pass. My Mom came to help me. I took this chance to go get x-rays and start getting some real answers to all the pain in my lower back and pelvis. I kept bleeding. The following Saturday, I had three strong contractions and on the last one, I saw the grey piece of tissue that could only be my baby. It was solid, it was the right size. I didn't know what to do with it--I felt it coming so I used toilet paper to wipe and there it was. Do I flush this down the toilet? The midwives did not prepare me for this.

And the x-rays didn't show a break. The MRI didn't show a slipped disk. The pain remained. I kept bleeding. For weeks. I did physical therapy, twice a week, then once a week. I felt a little better, pain-wise. I could walk a bit. I could sit up longer. But the sharp pains in my pelvis and lower abdomen kept coming and no one was seeming as curious as I was about what was causing them.

Over a month had passed since they induced my miscarriage and my pregnancy hormone levels were still up. I kept going for bloodwork, but the midwives were not helpful. They may be good with having babies, but were not good with not-having babies. I stuck with them, waiting for the bleeding to stop. They had all my records and test results. Loyalty, right?

September came, and I was still bleeding. Not a ton, but it was daily. It smelled terrible. It was mixed with clear stuff. I gave up, and went back to my old OB/GYN. She was shocked and apologetic about my issues getting an appointment with her to begin with, and that she wasn't there with me for all this mess. We started more tests. She said it all could have been an unfortunate coincidence that the baby died right after the accident. I told her all the pelvic pain issues and the fact my physical therapist says one side of my pevlic bone is rotated and twisted away from the other. I asked if there were ligaments in there that could have pulled. I asked if it could have been an internal placental abruption since I wasn't bleeding. And that, plus being A- bloodtype and plus the pain, and the fact the baby died and my body would NOT give it up--everything I experienced told me the accident did this to me, to us, but no one wanted to add it together.

Two weeks ago, my SI joint (it has something to do with my SI joint on the right being out of wack) started hurting more than it was since I had been to PT. I was still bleeding, so my OB/GYN put me on progesterone to try to regulate me and hopefully start a full, real period that would flush it out. Instead, I bled more while on the hormones, but it didn't stop. I also had a biopsy done on the inside of my uterus. It still showed placental and fetal cells. A D&C was the last resort.

I went in last Friday--October 7th and 3 full months since the car accident--for the D&C. It was my first time being completely put under. They did a hysteroscopy as well. I'm sore, and still bleeding. I stopped physical therapy--they said three weeks ago if I kept doing my exercises at home, it should keep improving--but today I feel like I'm right back in the last week of July. My baby is gone, it hurts to walk and stand and situp, I'm still bleeding. And NO ONE can tell me what is wrong.

Can I tear a round ligament while pregnant and in a car accident? They found nerve problems in my lower back and leg, but no one is looking at the pelvic pain. The more I do and try to be normal, the more it hurts. The more it hurts, the more I get these shooting pains, then I bleed more. I don't want to delude myself or try to insist that the accident caused the miscarriage if they say it's not possible. But no one will say it totally didn't, just as they seem loathe to help me figure out if it did. I can be ok, it can be ok. But the pain my my pelvic joint areas and SI joint in back isn't going away. Nor is the bleeding yet. I just feel like all doctors want me to compartmentalize each problem, separate them, so they can tell me they aren't related when EVERYTHING I've been experiencing for the last three months seems to indicate to me that they ARE related. Can the SI joints or ligaments around my uterus or my pelvic joint have done some real trauma to my baby? What questions should I be asking? What doctors should I be seeing? My OB/GYN is good, but she doesn't seem to get the ligament/pelvic/SI joint pain, and my Orthopedic just wants me to not other her anymore. I feel like she belittles my pain by telling me its tied to my loss and my emotions are overshadowing my progress--I still do not have a clear diagnosis. I feel like this is never-ending. Has anyone out there lost a baby due to trauma? Or accidents? Or blood-type issues? I feel like a nutcase.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I have only just managed to read through this and want to say thank you, so much, this information has helped a great deal. I have always blamed myself, for all four of my losses and deep down I probably always will but this information has made it so clear to me. It wasn't my fault, although I wish they never happened, I couldn't have done anything and I will try not to blame myself!

 

[EllaAndLyla]

@ExhaustedinNC Just read your story! I haven't any experience with that sort of loss but just wanted to offer you some and say how sorry I am for your traumatic loss! I hope the doctors find out what happened! I am baffled that they aren't putting the two together. I hope you get some answers and support soon, we on BnB are always here if you need to chat or vent about anything, experiencing a loss is one of the worst possible things anyone could go through and you shouldn't need to feel alone or confused xx

 

[rhealeigh]

We are trying again next week and I am so scared that it will happe n again, but statistically I know the chances are low. I'm just praying that We can get pregnant soon because It took us five years to conceive that baby.


https://lagf.lilypie.com/6sDSm6.png

 

[gal]

Thanx for that info. Had a mc in august 8 and half weeks my first and it just broke my world apart as i been trying for almost a year.I am now having symptoms of being preggo again but scared that if it is will it go on. Its just such a firghtening feeling. I guess i will get closure for the pain when i get to the due date of the mc baby in march next year. Keep being strong girls and take it a day at a time.

 

[Adoraza]

thanks

 

[xobabyhopes]

thank you so much for posting all of this information on here. i recently had my first m/c and it was very scary.i ended up having horrible pains in my stomach while i was at work, i work in a hospital, so i went to the er. 6 hours later and after numerous tests i was told my baby had no heartbeat and was not moving. so they sent me home and told me to call my dr in the morning to schedule and appointment. after i called and made my appointment i got the horrible pain back and had to be rushed to the er and then to labor&delivery for an emergency d&e. i was told the normal no sex for 6 weeks and we could start trying again at 8 weeks after.

after reading your post i understand that it might not have been my fault at all and that there is a good chance that i will have a full term pregnancy. it means alot and puts my mind at ease a little.

 

[lisa1979]

am sorry to hear about your loss x x x

 

[Bing]

Sorry for all your losses.
Ty for posting this thread. Very helpful..and informative.

 

[Rosmuira]

Thank you great post x

 

[wamommy]

I'm crying as I write this... miscarried today at 5w2d, my second in 3 months. I'm devastated, and it's somehow incredibly comforting to read that I am not alone! This information makes it feel less like it's my fault, and more like something I can tackle, and eventually overcome.

I have been blaming myself, wracking my brain about what I did wrong, all day... At least I can put that to bed for now, and try to believe that I did nothing wrong. That following my 2-year-old down the bumpy slide at the park to keep her from falling off couldn't have done it. That the couple cups of coffee I had before my bfp couldn't have done it. That simply worrying terribly about another chemical couldn't have done it. I will probably still feel the agonizing shame that comes with any miscarriage, but at least now I can name it, explain it, and hopefully get over it!

Thank you so much, Wobbles

 

[happywtwoboys]

My story starts as: two weeks ago I had cramps and felt something wasn't right. I should of been 8 weeks along. After being sent for an u/s on the Monday the radiographer looked rather happy and said that there was a gestational sack of 12mm and a fetal pole of 2mm. I was 6 weeks along. I knew this wasn't right as I am CERTAIN of my dates. I explained this to him and he said to come back in 7 days for another u/s, in the mean time keep having HCG tests done. I had my first HCG test that day which came back as a level of 32,000. The midwife rung me and said that was a good result. Two days later I had another HCG done. This time it was 34,000. Things were looking good, but at the back of my mind I knew the dates still didn't add up.

The next Monday I had my next u/s. Gestational sack was the same but the fetal pole had broken up. He turned the monitor off and explained there was NO blood flow. We were upset but accepted the inevitable had happened. But it only gets worse!

I rung my specialist for a D&C as I have had NO bleeding. He said I have to do another hcg to make sure the levels are going down, To my horror they have risen again to 42,000. I rung the radiographer again who got quite angry on the phone and said "THIS IS NOT A VIABLE PREGNANCY" - nothing has changed. Not only was he rude - he has stated on the report that the first u/s showed NO FETAL POLE but the 2nd u/s showed a 2mm FETAL POLE, which told dr's things were progressing and they wont do a D&C. He completely wrote the results around the wrong way. So for the past 3 days I have been battling with dr's trying to get them to get in touch with the radiographer to re-asses his report and make the correct changes. I am soo frustrated. I still have the odd bit of m/s, I'm tired and crampy, I feel so unfinished. Because I haven't bled and they wont perform the dnc my body still thinks it's pregnant even though it isn't. I can't motivate myself, I can't leave the house incase I miss that important phone call! I just want it over with. I am sick of crying and I have two other littlies to run around after whom I find I am negelecting and let ruin the house - becasue I don't seem to care.

 

[FeLynn]

I am currently going through a loss, this is my 3rd loss! I can't stop wondering what I did or didn't do. I went for a scan on June 1st I was 13.2 weeks, I was so happy that my nightmares and fears weren't true b/c I was looking at my baby on the screen. The dr then crushed me by saying "there is no heart beat, your baby has died" I started crying my eyes out I didn't want to believe it. I still can't I rub my belly daily hoping maybe I will jump start his/her little heart beat again. I know that's stupid and crazy of me to think that is even possible.

On that day the dr said the baby just died recently, maybe within the past 24 hours or so. The baby measured correctly and I had no blood forming yet, I have no sign that I was going to miscarry, I was just told the babies heart had stopped. So Im wondering why did it just stop?

Everyone was telling me its unlikely you will miscarry for a 3rd time in a row, this marks my 6th pregnancy I have 3 kids already. They said once I hear the heart beat the chances go down. I heard the heart beat it was 157 I was in my 7th week. They said b/c I had 2 miscarriages once I hit 10 weeks the chances drop even more, then once I hit my 12th week its really uncommon and blah blah blah. I'm not dumb I know the chances go down that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. So everyone who thought I was just paranoid and had no reason to worry this is why I worried.

I go in for a d&e on Tuesday and I just feel disgusting carrying my dead baby inside of me. I wish they would let me see him or her before they send the baby for testing, I know that's probably not going to happen. My hub said they may think I am crazy and send me to the psych ward. He doesn't understand what this is like for me. This is my 3rd one and it never gets easier, I think this one is harder b/c I felt my baby move a few times. I'm on an emotional roller coaster!

 

[Peggy O]

Thank you. I had an unexplained heavy bleed Wed night and have been put on bed rest. No one really explained what a miscarriage would be like if I were having one. The treatment at the ER basically implied I was having one, and I was left alone for most of 6 hours sitting in blood, and then sent home. It's 5 day later the bleeding has stopped and 2 sonograms later all is well. This information is VERY reassuring. I just wonder why nothing like this is even mentioned in any of the books I read, or literature my OB gave? Why does it seem Dr's think less is more when it comes to information? Thanks again. This is by far the best info I have found.

 

[Babygabelt]

Although this information is very helpful, and reassures me that its not my fault, it doesnt change the fact I'm terrified to try again. I know other women have gone through many losses, more than me, I would have assumed 1 MC as a 1/10 thing. But two MCs? I am labeling myself as TTC although I'm waiting for AF to show up before I do...
Life is a game of chance & patience.

 

[soozandlily]

I just wanted to say how helpful and informative I found this thread. I haven't actually had a loss since dec 2009 (mmc at 12 week scan) and previous to that I had a spontaneous m/c in may 2006. I have had one healthy pregnancy inbetween the two losses which resulted in my dd who is 5 in Nov. We have now been TTC baby no2 for 8 months and I am quite apprehensive about it all and although I'm sure I will be happy when I get my BFP I'm also going to be terrified. I found the information to help rest my mind in knowing that I'm doing as much as I can to have a healthy pregnancy and that any previous m/c's were not my fault!