Midwife doesn't think I should take sick leave....

[babytobe]

Hi ladies,

I went and saw one of my midwives today, expecting she would write me a note to apply for sick leave. She said I wouldn't qualify for sick leave with my symptoms. I asked her what I should do then, as I don't feel like I can do my job anymore. I asked her what she would do, and she said that she's not a good person to ask, because she would just push through to the end. Thanks lady. That makes me feel real good about my efforts (not!).

So here's my situation....

I have a very physical job (I massage for a living). The last 3 weeks I have pushed through feeling horrible at work. My last shift I canceled my last client because I physically couldn't do it.
I don't have any diagnosed issues with my pregnancy (like hypertension or whatever), but when I work I start to feel really ill (shaky, weak, light-headed, and exhausted) soon into my work. The midwife suggested I need to try doing things to make work less taxing, but I explained to her that I've already been doing that since the beginning of my pregnancy! I only work twice a week, I take an hour break at work and have 15 minutes between each client. I snack and eat things to make sure my blood sugar stays level. And I see a chiro and massage therapist regularly to keep my body in OK condition. I believe all these things have helped me to be able to work to to 29 weeks OK, but I'm seriously at the end of my working rope here. I get so exhausted and weak that the days after I work I am totally useless and can't do anything.
I have gotten to the point where I cannot do my job properly, or of I do it properly, I'm so spent that I can't massage my next client.
Not to mention that my last pregnancy I had an irritable uterus and am trying to prevent that this time.

What do you think? Do my symptoms constitute sick leave?

I'm kind of just thinking of going to the walk-in clinic tomorrow to ask a doctor to write me a note. I just feel super deflated because it's not like I wanted to just take sick leave and cancel my regular clients. The midwife made me feel like I was being a wimp....like she would just push through no matter what, and my symptoms don't mean much. My husband has been telling me for a month that I need to go on sick leave (I often call him half way through my shift while I'm lying on the massage bed wondering if I can actually do another treatment). After my last shift that I had to end early I finally admitted that I can't do my job anymore.
I just needed to vent this more than anything. I'm not impressed with my midwife's lack of understanding and concern for mine and my baby's health.
Positive insight would be much appreciated!

 

[jessiebella86]

Your midwife sounds like a bit of an idiot to be honest, she doesn't sound very supportive. I would go to your GP and get signed of with exhaustion. Just say your exhausted and your backs aching and it's making your job very difficult. Xx

 

[vaniilla]

Get a second opinion, it really isn't for the midwife (or anyone for that matter) to decide whether you should grin and bear it, what she would do is irrelevant not to mention unprofessional to put her views across like that. You know your body better and your body knows what it can handle, your symptoms show that your body is asking for rest. I agree with the pp, see your gp and they should be able to write you a note.

 

[wannabemomy37]

I'd get a 2nd opinion too. Or talk to your boss about doing 1 client a day? Even if you just take a few days off to rest, maybe you can start up again to get your hours in.

I'd personally hate to leave work at 29 weeks for good, so I actually cut down my hours at around 34 weeks after preterm labor. I'd suggest a happy medium between you andvwork. If work demands a doc note then I'd keep looking

 

[jenmcn1]

Your midwife has major lack of understanding in how physical the job is. First off, has she had a baby before? Secondly, has she been a massage therapist before?! If not she has no business telling you how you should feel in any way.
I would either speak to another midwife, or a doctor and then proceed with taking sick leave.
Big hugs mama...keep eating lots of snacks, Inbetween clients, and when you need to cancel a client than do it.

 

[laila 44]

You don't need any particular reason to be signed off work. My OB practically takes everyone off after a certain gestation. Honestly she sounds like an idiot, how dare she refuse you leave? You can get signed off on simple exhaustion and that's that who the hell is she to decide weather it's a physical job or not?

 

[babytobe]

Thank you ladies for your replies. I went to see the doctor today and he gave me a letter without hesitation for sick leave. He was so nice and I almost think I might want to have him deliver my baby instead of the midwife group now! I'm just thankful I don't have to stress about working while feeling horrible now. I just really don't know why the midwife responded like she did. If I didn't have a physical job I could understand how she might think im overreacting, but I just thought it was pretty straight forward that lots of pregnant women cannot handle physical jobs their while pregnancy and she should know that.

 

[laila 44]

Physical or not if you aren't feeling well then that's your right to get off work. My OB took my friend off at 34 weeks bc her back was hurting sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day! What a weird mw...

 

[babytobe]

Yes exactly Laila44!

 

[MoBaby]

Man I wish we could get signed out on sick leave here in us. Unfortunately our maternity leave sucks and if we don't have time off we can't take sick days. My job allows 3 unpaid days off per year. But if we are feel like crap and pregnant and take off it comes out of our "maternity leave" which is 12 unpaid weeks in a year because it's a federal rule. Otherwise companies don't have to offer anything for maternity leave it's actually terrible. I'm only 24 weeks but have the potential still for bed rest and other issues going into third tri and it freaks me out knowing I may get screwed in the end. Us policies are terrible. I'm glad you got signed off. I couldn't imagine doing massage therapy not pregnant but third tri would be exhausting.

 

[babytobe]

Man I wish we could get signed out on sick leave here in us. Unfortunately our maternity leave sucks and if we don't have time off we can't take sick days. My job allows 3 unpaid days off per year. But if we are feel like crap and pregnant and take off it comes out of our "maternity leave" which is 12 unpaid weeks in a year because it's a federal rule. Otherwise companies don't have to offer anything for maternity leave it's actually terrible. I'm only 24 weeks but have the potential still for bed rest and other issues going into third tri and it freaks me out knowing I may get screwed in the end. Us policies are terrible. I'm glad you got signed off. I couldn't imagine doing massage therapy not pregnant but third tri would be exhausting.

Mobaby, US policies on mat. leave stuff really does sound horrible 😣. That's a lot of pressure for nothing to go wrong during your pregnancy. In the end of course we have to decide what's best for our babies even if we will loose money or job security, which is really unfair. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes okay! I totally feel sympathy for you.

 

[minties]

Man I wish we could get signed out on sick leave here in us. Unfortunately our maternity leave sucks and if we don't have time off we can't take sick days. My job allows 3 unpaid days off per year. But if we are feel like crap and pregnant and take off it comes out of our "maternity leave" which is 12 unpaid weeks in a year because it's a federal rule. Otherwise companies don't have to offer anything for maternity leave it's actually terrible. I'm only 24 weeks but have the potential still for bed rest and other issues going into third tri and it freaks me out knowing I may get screwed in the end. Us policies are terrible. I'm glad you got signed off. I couldn't imagine doing massage therapy not pregnant but third tri would be exhausting.

Mobaby, US policies on mat. leave stuff really does sound horrible 😣. That's a lot of pressure for nothing to go wrong during your pregnancy. In the end of course we have to decide what's best for our babies even if we will loose money or job security, which is really unfair. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes okay! I totally feel sympathy for you.

I feel sympathy also, that sounds horrendous! Do you get paid yearly holidays/weeks off? Think it's about 5 weeks here, and 5 paid sick days a year, and paid maternity leave also but I've never had to take that so not sure how long it is.

 

[MoBaby]

It depends on where you work. I have a more generous time off package. I have 27 paid days off (which includes if I need sick days), 8 paid holidays and a week of education training. But each company sets the tone off and it's not a requirement. My husband gets a whole 12 days paid off plus paid holidays.