I'm so sorry
Oh my goodness. Big prayers for you, mama! I'm so sorry you had to go through that
@Mommy_Joy I’m so sorry for your loss and wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead. Sending huge hugs
Oh my love I’m sat hear sobbing. Literally crying so hard.
My heart is actually broken for you and I am so sad and so sorry this has happened to you.
I lost my first baby at 10+4 weeks. And going in for that op is so so hard.
All my other 8 loses have been early. Still heart wrenching and painful but to go even further and be told that horrible news it’s absolutely heart shattering.
You are in my thoughts love and prayers too.
Oh my gosh love this brought so much back for me the heartbreak I'm so so sorry
they also let me see the screen aswell I was the same as you I needed to convince my head that baby was intact no longer with us, that's all I've been doing is taking each day as it comes that's all we can do love sending much needed healing love your way xx
Thank you all for the sweet heartfelt messages. I appreciate it so much. I had to take a breath and just take time to bring my heart around as well as my head.
Hubby and i decided we would start trying again as soon as i felt better and was told all was ok.
Well funny thing exactly 2 weeks and 3 days later i was approved to BDing and told all was fine. Thank God for that! I had read so many posts about people having stuff left over inside.
Well on that day I also had a very positive LH test and my OBGYN also had me take a pregnancy test to just check that HCG was on its way down. It was definitely down. My tests was stark white.
Came home we BD'ed both that day and the next. And on 9dpo i had a faint positive. That got stronger for 3 days. Then for some reason i thought let me take another LH test....it was still two lines but definitely no longer positive. I thought it was strange to have 2 lines so i kept taking one every day.
Well.....the LH tests started progressively gettting stronger to the point that the test line was WAY darker then the control line....but my pregnancy tests started fading.
I figured my body was re-ovulating or something so i just kept taking tests to see what was going on. (I had no more pregnancy tests so i just tracked my LH to see what was happening) .
It stayed very VERY positive for 2 days then started fading. On 5dpo ...this time around my pregancy tests arrived and i went and took one. Line took a while but it appearef but super super faint. 6dpo took another definitely appeared but again VERY faint.
I cannot understand what in the world happened. But if you would like to follow along ill be starting a new thread in the proper section.
I thank all of you from the deepest parts of my heart for the support you showed me. I didnt have any of that in real life from people around me. Except for my husband and best friend. My mother when she heard i miscarried told me to stop crying because it was Gods will and many others did as well.
Then when i did stop crying and i adjusted and accepted my loss people started judging me for getting over my loss so quickly. And calling me heartless.
The worst was from a SIL of mine who told me that my loss was insignificant and not even a true loss. (She lost her baby at 16weeks) years ago. And that i should stop trying to get compassion and milking the spotlight.
Hand on my heart i never brought up my loss unless specifically asked how i was dealing with it and even then i avoided opening up because i knew people truly dont care.
As for the God thing....yes God knew what he was doing and he did all of it for "my and babys best". There are so many reasons He could have had for taking our baby.
One good thing that came out of it is that hubby no longer is against having kids. He realized what he missed out and hes excited to try and enjoy every step of the journey. He has become such an attentive and gentle husband through all of this and i praise God for the change in him.