PND Support Thread

[fides]

klcuk3, I was on Zoloft after DS1, then off, and on again after DS2. on them 2nd time i think 2-3 months? PPD passed more quickly this time

Medzi

Glitter, hope the Zoloft takes the edge off i can't say i felt normal on Zoloft (same dose as you), but i felt like it was more manageable with the meds. hope it really helps you

 

[malteser]

My husband thinks I have this, my lb is 7 months and ive had some low moments but in the last month I wont leave the house because I feel like everyone is staring at me thinking im to fat and ugly to be a good mom. I put on a lot of weight when pregnant and am still struggling losing it. Yesterday a close friend of my husband was getting married and I got ready my mom arrived to babysit and I just couldnt bring myself to go I locked myself in the bathroom crying because i am so discusting i am an embarrassment to him. My mom gave out to me saying I was disappointing my husband so I went and put on my fake happiness which I have now perfected all the time wanting to go home and lock the door and cuddle my baby. I feel like my friends all hate me because I have not shown up for lunches etc and not given them a reason be because im so ashamed to feel this and just cant go as i feel so inadequate to them. I love my boy so much he is my world but I just feel like he and my husband would be better of with some other woman who they could be proud of and while I would hate to leave my son I think im a terrible mother cos im such a mess and everyone would just be so much happier if I wasnt here. I feel like by posting this im just attention seeking and im not I dont know the point of this but I suppose im just seeing if im ill or what im feeling is true and I should just disappear.

 

[Glitter_berry]

Oh honey. You're a great mum. And your husband and child adore you. And so do your friends.

I think you should speak to your GP. My GP really helped me. I have been on my mess for 7 days because I caught my PND early and already feeling a whole lot better.
I still have a lot of anxiety, but it's getting better each day.

 

[babyhopes2010]

Anyone on prozac(fluxetine)?

 

[ttc126]

Ok so idk if I'm depressed or not. I have bouts of extreme anger. Normally its directed at dh for stupid stuff like not rinsing his dishes after eating or not even offering to help with lo. But other times I get mad at the dog...like when he won't stop barking or when he poops in the house. I get teary at least once a week and I constantly feel sad over missing the first few weeks of my son's life between his NICU stay and then my stay at the hospital aagain for hemorrhaging and surgery... I feel like even when he was home at first I didn't enjoy him and waasnt fully "present" because I felt so crappy. I get resentful because I feel like I am aalways cleaning and cooking and organizing everything aand miss out on enjoying him now. I feel like my dh goes to work, comes home to clean house, laundry done, cooked meals (85% of the time) and gets to hold ds and only change the occassional diaper...and I have to clean up after him and do everything while he sits there and plays stupid games on his e-reader.

I can't tell if I'm just feeling down because I've had a horrible uti and yeast infection this week....or am I depressed? How do I know??? When is it time to get help? And who can I go to (US) as I hate my OB?

Thanks to anyone who helps!

 

[angel2010]

I am posting here because I feel like I need to get this out, but am so ashamed to admit it. I want things to go back to the way they were before I had my daughter. I am having a very hard time feeling love for her. I mean I care about her, but I don't look at her in awe like I did my son and think "man I love her". It has only been a week, but it has been so hard. She is so clingy. She won't sleep unless she is held. I can't do anything with or for my son because I am attached to her all the time. I feel like an awful mom to my son. I am hoping this is normal and not pnd, but I am feeling pretty shitty at the moment.

 

[babyhopes2010]

I am posting here because I feel like I need to get this out, but am so ashamed to admit it. I want things to go back to the way they were before I had my daughter. I am having a very hard time feeling love for her. I mean I care about her, but I don't look at her in awe like I did my son and think "man I love her". It has only been a week, but it has been so hard. She is so clingy. She won't sleep unless she is held. I can't do anything with or for my son because I am attached to her all the time. I feel like an awful mom to my son. I am hoping this is normal and not pnd, but I am feeling pretty shitty at the moment.

i felt like this with my first(freya) and feel complete love for my boy Alex. its so hard when u dont get the rush of love.

its hard coping with 2 i feel terrible guilt that i feel i neglect the needs of my daughter sometimes cos baby wants to be stuck on me 24/7 the sleep deprivation when u cant sleep in the day sucks!

 

[080509]

Hi i'm new to the thread, quick post as LO about to wake up, i've had depression since i was approx 14/15, i'm now 23 with 3 little ones, all under 4.
Went to my GP as i can't take it anymore and keep thinking/saying bad things, scared for my own mental being really. Been given fluoxetine, day 3 of it and i feel horrific, restless legs, tired, aching neck, i don't feel anything its weird, just had a panic attack and i've not had one in 2 years..

 

[080509]

Can't even take that again today, day 3 yesterday and i felt horrendous, part of me thinks i'd rather me depressed than think like yesterday. Mind blank, no feelings, don't feel happy or sad, just strange moments wondering whats going on. Is this normal? i'm told prozac can take 6 weeks for side effects to go, i can't cope like that for 6 weeks. Feeling unsettled.

 

[JessyG]

I think i have pnd, this is how i feel on a daily basis and its only getting worse:

Feeling trapped but cant face going out.
barely eat anything even when i am offered.
Wanting to sleep all the time
Feeling like i cant cope on my own with the baby.
Feeling useless when i cant get her to stop crying.
Constantly feeling like my life is over.
Dont enjoy tv, going out, shopping.
Feeling likey daughter deserves better than me as i am making her miserable.
Crying at least once a day if not continually throughout the day.

I feel depressed but just not sure whether i have actual pnd or just having trouble adjusting to my new life. I am going to try and make an app with the doc tomorrow but really dont want to go on pills.

 

[babyhopes2010]

Can't even take that again today, day 3 yesterday and i felt horrendous, part of me thinks i'd rather me depressed than think like yesterday. Mind blank, no feelings, don't feel happy or sad, just strange moments wondering whats going on. Is this normal? i'm told prozac can take 6 weeks for side effects to go, i can't cope like that for 6 weeks. Feeling unsettled.

im on prozac. it took a good 2 weeks to help me the first 10 days i felt alot worse. v unstable. i was thinking allsorts of horrid stuff!


now i feel so much better BUT dont have a definate happy or sad emotions more like a stable im ok feeling which to be honest is all i want right now is to feel balanced and not have these frightening mood swings.

 

[babyhopes2010]

I think i have pnd, this is how i feel on a daily basis and its only getting worse:

Feeling trapped but cant face going out.
barely eat anything even when i am offered.
Wanting to sleep all the time
Feeling like i cant cope on my own with the baby.
Feeling useless when i cant get her to stop crying.
Constantly feeling like my life is over.
Dont enjoy tv, going out, shopping.
Feeling likey daughter deserves better than me as i am making her miserable.
Crying at least once a day if not continually throughout the day.

I feel depressed but just not sure whether i have actual pnd or just having trouble adjusting to my new life. I am going to try and make an app with the doc tomorrow but really dont want to go on pills.

glad ur going to drs hun

i was v much like id NEVER take tablets but u know they really do work. obviously u still need to work on things as they arent a cure

 

[JessyG]

thank you chick. i went to the docs they asked me if i ever thought about harming myself and i just burst into tears. i have often thought B would be better off without me. she gave me a prescription for fluxotine or something? my hv has also started taking an interest after a month of forgetting to call me. My OH is off today but isnt v supportive....told me he thought i was stronger than this.

 

[babyhopes2010]

thank you chick. i went to the docs they asked me if i ever thought about harming myself and i just burst into tears. i have often thought B would be better off without me. she gave me a prescription for fluxotine or something? my hv has also started taking an interest after a month of forgetting to call me. My OH is off today but isnt v supportive....told me he thought i was stronger than this.

yeh hun its same as im on.prozac! its v strong stuff, be aware u may feel worse for 2 weeks before things settle.dr must b concerned to put u on something that strong usually they give u sertraline

sorry to hear ur oh is being a $$$$!
hav u explained how u were feeling to him.

i had a mental breakdown n now dh finally realises im just not ok. 3 weeks ago i was hallucinating,hearing voices. visions of me bleeding to death. wanting to slit my wrists.it was horrendous

im feeling alot better now. much more stable. i keep getting thoughts but i dismiss them straightaway so dont dwell on intrusive thoughts

 

[JessyG]

oh really she didnt tell me they were strong. i havent started them yet as i know i may feel worse and im scared. i havent had any voices but am very anxious and on edge a lot. i keep telling myself it will get better but i cobstantly feel that i am a shit mum.

 

[JessyG]

my oh just thinks i need to get on with it. so glad you are feeling better! that sounds scary.

 

[Kelly M]

Hugs to you ladies! I'm on sertraline, have been for the past 9 months since my son was about 8 weeks old and I had a terrible mental breakdown. I felt so awful, didn't want to live but now things are really good. I'm hoping to get off my medication soon but my son still sleeps horribly so it's hard when I'm sleep deprived to go off it since sleep deprivation is partially what triggers my anxiety and irritability.

JessyG, I'm sorry your oh is unsupportive. My dh doesn't really understand but at least he's supportive. The dr's explained things to him and that really helped him to get that it is an illness and not just me being weak. Maybe have him go with you to one of your appointments so they can help him understand what you are going through or have him read these posts? Find someone you can call every day that will be supportive. This helped me so much, talking to my sister who went through the same, and reading these posts. There is a light at the end of this tunnel I promise! You will feel normal again and enjoy your baby! I certainly do. I'm myself again, I never thought I would be. I thought I was in some weird bad dream and I'd never wake up from it.

 

[080509]

Babyhopes i'm on day 6 with taking it again, i feel okayish, but soo exhausted! Is this normal? I too don't feel happy or really sad, its v strange, aside from the tiredness its much better than wanting to SelfH or something.. sorry if thats TMI.

Jessy my OH is the same, infact he doesn't even know i started taking it again, he has no sympathy (which is fair enough) unless "anything major has happened" pees me off i wish he would be more understanding!!

Kelly sleep dep triggers mine too, i'm much more on edge/emotional when tired

hugs to everyone xxx

 

[080509]

He is defo anti meds aswell in terms of depression, thinks i can just deal with it, he said "i've heard of weird things people do when they are on antidepressants where people kill, WTF, i told him i'm more likely to do something drastic if i'm not on them tbh, some of the thoughts (not against my kids btw) which go through my mind when i'm really low aren't worth thinking about. Wish he would get it.

 

[wantingagirl]

its ok for your hubby to say but hes not going through it that's the worse thing you can say to someone with PND.

Ive been on citrolopram 20mg for 5 months now im starting to get a couple of down days and bad thoughts of harming my child and me again