No epidural

[NDH]

Birth culture in the states does make it extremely uncommon to not have an epidural, and unfortunately makes it harder to go natural as well, between being looked at like you have two heads for not wanting one, and how pushy nurses seem to be about offering them too. But certainly it's not impossible.

I would suggest you read up on Michel Odent and really understand the fear/pain cycle, and have a toolkit full of natural pain relief options that your partner understands how to help you with (ie tennis ball for massage, wooden comb to squeeze, movement, hip squeezes, rebozo, light massage, aromatherapy, etc), or hire a doula who will know all those tricks and more already.
I dont know if hospitals in the states have baths or showers in the rooms for labouring in, but hot water is super effective pain relief.

Stay at home as long as possible, really communicate with your nurses that you do not want to have an epidural offered because you will ask if you need one (and it's a lot harder to say no in the moment when pain relief is offered, even if you're not at a point where you really feel you need it. It let's doubt and fear in.

Know your other medical pain relief options. There are many things to try in between no pain relief at all and an epidural. A lot of people seem to think that not having an epidural means laying on a hospital bed screaming in pain for hours because they dont know better. And yep, being stuck laying down in a bed while labouring without any pain relief would be a lot more difficult. Movement is an important part of labour for bringing baby into position and helps reduce pain.

Consider having a code word with your partner to use if you really *do* need an epidural. I really appreciated the knowledge that I could *ask* for an epidural but not actually get one (I didnt actually ask, though I did set goals with myself cause I thought about asking a lot) but it kind of had a placebo effect on it's own.

Affirmations are also a powerful tool. They give your mind something to focus on other than the pain and can help retrain your thoughts. Be aware of "magic thinking" though, which can end up setting yourself up for trauma if you do everything "right" and things dont go to plan.
Whatever happens this is *your* birth, not anyone else's, and no one can shame you for making different choices than they would, and nothing is set in stone. You can change your mind at any point and dont have to justify it to anyone

 

[Flueky88]

I'm sure they have the gas in the states. It's called Nitrous Oxide... we have it in Canada... It's lovely stuff lol!! Same laughing gas they use at the dentist.

I'm not OP but in my state or at least region of my state, nitrous oxide is not an option for labor and delivery. I do think I've read it's more common or at least an option in big metropolitan areas (for l&d)

OP, I'd ask your provider what's available for pain relief other than epidural. You may have gas and air as an option.

 

[atx614]

I am in the US also and my hospital does not offer gas or air either. And they REALLY push the epidural. I had both my kids natural with no epidural though. And as mentioned the recovery was wonderful. Being able to get up to pee and shower was glorious. The pain was intense, but it felt purposeful so it was easier to manage if that makes sense. As others mentioned, labor as long as you can at home. It makes it easier to say no once you are there because you feel like you’ve done already. And At home you can walk around, squat, etc. at my hospital once you are there you are hooked up to monitors and stuff so have to stay in the bed. Also, if you feel like you have to get one, don’t feel ashamed. You are bringing a freaking baby into the world and that’s amazing! You’ve got this no matter which option you go with.

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Man the e way they monetize and medicalize birth in the US really sucks! Sorry ladies that you can’t birth the way you’d like! Considering you’re the top country in the world!?! I guess staying at home as long as you can is the answer.

too bad because the NO is really fun XD missed it with my home birth lol!!

 

[bclaytonsc]

Birth culture in the states does make it extremely uncommon to not have an epidural, and unfortunately makes it harder to go natural as well, between being looked at like you have two heads for not wanting one, and how pushy nurses seem to be about offering them too. But certainly it's not impossible.

I would suggest you read up on Michel Odent and really understand the fear/pain cycle, and have a toolkit full of natural pain relief options that your partner understands how to help you with (ie tennis ball for massage, wooden comb to squeeze, movement, hip squeezes, rebozo, light massage, aromatherapy, etc), or hire a doula who will know all those tricks and more already.
I dont know if hospitals in the states have baths or showers in the rooms for labouring in, but hot water is super effective pain relief.

Stay at home as long as possible, really communicate with your nurses that you do not want to have an epidural offered because you will ask if you need one (and it's a lot harder to say no in the moment when pain relief is offered, even if you're not at a point where you really feel you need it. It let's doubt and fear in.

Know your other medical pain relief options. There are many things to try in between no pain relief at all and an epidural. A lot of people seem to think that not having an epidural means laying on a hospital bed screaming in pain for hours because they dont know better. And yep, being stuck laying down in a bed while labouring without any pain relief would be a lot more difficult. Movement is an important part of labour for bringing baby into position and helps reduce pain.

Consider having a code word with your partner to use if you really *do* need an epidural. I really appreciated the knowledge that I could *ask* for an epidural but not actually get one (I didnt actually ask, though I did set goals with myself cause I thought about asking a lot) but it kind of had a placebo effect on it's own.

Affirmations are also a powerful tool. They give your mind something to focus on other than the pain and can help retrain your thoughts. Be aware of "magic thinking" though, which can end up setting yourself up for trauma if you do everything "right" and things dont go to plan.
Whatever happens this is *your* birth, not anyone else's, and no one can shame you for making different choices than they would, and nothing is set in stone. You can change your mind at any point and dont have to justify it to anyone

Thank you for taking the time to type all of this out. Great advice and I will read up on Michel Odent. Thank you so much.

 

[bclaytonsc]

Thank you ladies!

I will ask if gas and air is an option at the hospital I am delivering, but I don't believe it is. If it is, It is certainly not common in my area (South Carolina). I have never heard of anyone I personally know having that as an option.

It seems like it is "epidural or nothing" in most areas around here, I'm afraid.

 

[missielibra]

I'm sure they have the gas in the states. It's called Nitrous Oxide... we have it in Canada... It's lovely stuff lol!! Same laughing gas they use at the dentist.

Must depend! I'm from Canada, and that wasn't an option for me! It was epidural, nerve block or nothing! These were my choices.

@bclaytonsc do you know maybe if they offer other means that aren't medicine? Would you have access to a tub per example? It's a huge help for some in terms of pain relief. Is there any way the hospital could provide you a list, or is there a website? My hospital had a list online! Bouncing balls, etc, etc!

Whatever you do decide, make sure it's right for you, and it's what you want. a doula can be good to help you advocate, if not make a plan for your husband, like NDH suggested. Code words for something you might want, or tell him what you need or want so he can help advocate for you when you're in pain and its more difficult to think. (Like, if I tell you my pain is 9/10, this means this, or if I say this word, get me the epidural, etc, etc).

Good luck xoxo

 

[bclaytonsc]

Must depend! I'm from Canada, and that wasn't an option for me! It was epidural, nerve block or nothing! These were my choices.

@bclaytonsc do you know maybe if they offer other means that aren't medicine? Would you have access to a tub per example? It's a huge help for some in terms of pain relief. Is there any way the hospital could provide you a list, or is there a website? My hospital had a list online! Bouncing balls, etc, etc!

Whatever you do decide, make sure it's right for you, and it's what you want. a doula can be good to help you advocate, if not make a plan for your husband, like NDH suggested. Code words for something you might want, or tell him what you need or want so he can help advocate for you when you're in pain and its more difficult to think. (Like, if I tell you my pain is 9/10, this means this, or if I say this word, get me the epidural, etc, etc).

Good luck xoxo

Yes we will have access to a tub and peanut birthing ball as well!! Private room and private bathroom with waterfall shower etc if I find that helpful.

Thank you

 

[happycupcake]

If you want to try without then don’t let what other people think stop you!

I have had five children and all but my fifth were born on either nothing or gas & air. The only reason I had an epidural with my fifth was because I was induced, my labour wasn’t progressing (although it bloody felt like it was!) and they wanted me on the dreaded drip so I asked them for one. I was way too anxious to manage otherwise but the circumstances were weird giving birth in the middle of a pandemic and I suffer with severe anxiety anyway, so I just needed not to add to it.
The other children were very painful yes, but I managed

 

[tbfromlv]

I just had my second non-epidural birth. I feel like I’m in control and honestly.. like a freaking superhero giving birth! The hardest part is transition. Pushing becomes a relief and your body does most of the work for you! Both times I pushed on all 4s (probably the best position for open pelvis!) keep your jaw and hands relaxed. Focused and intentional breathing. If you have to make noise, make sure it’s low/Deep sounds. Higher pitched sounds actually activate more pain receptors! Don’t let the nurses coach your pushing. That is a sure fire way to tear. Follow your body.

 

[Suggerhoney]

I wonder why they don't have gas and air for labour in the US.
Every labour room in our hospital has gas and air.
The stuff is amazing.
I mean it doesn't take the pain away completely but it does help and u feel so good on it. I cudnt stop laughing with DS. It was only when they put the drip up (I was induced) that's when the contractions were extremely painful and on top of each other that's when I normoly cave.
The epidural was already in my plan because I was being induced and new at some point that drip wud go up and mannn that drip makes contractions so much more intense.

I'm being induced again with this one and I'm having a birth matters appointment around 35 ish weeks.
I'm gonna opt for gas and air again and then the epidural later on if I need it.
Probably will because I know that drip will be used again.

We have a few options here in the UK.
Normoly this is going by induction mind.
But when my contractions started I didnt have anything at first and just breathed through each one. It soon got painful tho but the midwife I had only ordered 2 pain killer tablets. Co codimol.
My contractions were less then 2 mins apart but she just kept telling me to breath through them.

Luckily they had shift change tho and as soon as the new midwife took over she was like goodness ure contractions are very close together now let's give u the gas and air. (Ah bliss)
I was put on the drip around 2cm dilated and the my waters were broke at 5 cm I had the epidural and then I went from 5 to 10 cm in the space of about 45 mins.

She cudnt believe it when I was telling her I needed to push.
She was like i only checked u just over half hour ago and u was 6 cm.
But she had a look anyway and good job too I was 10 cm and ready to push.

The options we get for pain relief in labour goes in like a order.

They give cocodmol first
Then gas and air.
Then u can have a injection called pethidine with is a bit like morphine. ( I can't have that because of meds I'm on)

Then the epidural is the final one if u want it.
U can also use a tens machine in the beginning but I've never tried one of them so have no idea what it's like..

U will make the right choice for u hon at the time.
And what ever choice u go for ure still awesome.

With my first I went into labour on my own and I got to 7 cm untill I had epidural.
I went in with a open mind and just seen how o got on.
I didn't get on that great with the gas the first time but I don't think I was using it right. .

Haha.

 

[Suggerhoney]

We also have birth balls in every labour room and a bath tub.
The water is not hot tho and only luke warm so that didn't help me at all.
Probably wud of been better if water was a bit hotter but I think they can only have it a certain temp. Like 30c max. Swear Mine was even less than that.
It was nice I got to try it out tho.
That was with our now 10 year old.
.my last 2 were inductions so cudnt have a bath with them and can't with this one either.

 

[bclaytonsc]

I wonder why they don't have gas and air for labour in the US.
Every labour room in our hospital has gas and air.
The stuff is amazing.
I mean it doesn't take the pain away completely but it does help and u feel so good on it. I cudnt stop laughing with DS. It was only when they put the drip up (I was induced) that's when the contractions were extremely painful and on top of each other that's when I normoly cave.
The epidural was already in my plan because I was being induced and new at some point that drip wud go up and mannn that drip makes contractions so much more intense.

I'm being induced again with this one and I'm having a birth matters appointment around 35 ish weeks.
I'm gonna opt for gas and air again and then the epidural later on if I need it.
Probably will because I know that drip will be used again.

We have a few options here in the UK.
Normoly this is going by induction mind.
But when my contractions started I didnt have anything at first and just breathed through each one. It soon got painful tho but the midwife I had only ordered 2 pain killer tablets. Co codimol.
My contractions were less then 2 mins apart but she just kept telling me to breath through them.

Luckily they had shift change tho and as soon as the new midwife took over she was like goodness ure contractions are very close together now let's give u the gas and air. (Ah bliss)
I was put on the drip around 2cm dilated and the my waters were broke at 5 cm I had the epidural and then I went from 5 to 10 cm in the space of about 45 mins.

She cudnt believe it when I was telling her I needed to push.
She was like i only checked u just over half hour ago and u was 6 cm.
But she had a look anyway and good job too I was 10 cm and ready to push.

The options we get for pain relief in labour goes in like a order.

They give cocodmol first
Then gas and air.
Then u can have a injection called pethidine with is a bit like morphine. ( I can't have that because of meds I'm on)

Then the epidural is the final one if u want it.
U can also use a tens machine in the beginning but I've never tried one of them so have no idea what it's like..

U will make the right choice for u hon at the time.
And what ever choice u go for ure still awesome.

With my first I went into labour on my own and I got to 7 cm untill I had epidural.
I went in with a open mind and just seen how o got on.
I didn't get on that great with the gas the first time but I don't think I was using it right. .

Haha.

It sounds like you guys have so many more options than the US! Crazy. Thank you for the encouragement. As long as she gets here happy and healthy, at the end of the day, I'll be alright.

 

[josephine3]

I'm so shocked that you don't get gas n air as routine in the US!! I used just that for both my births it's great stuff! Some people don't like it but it really suited me.. My first words when I got taken to the delivery suite with number 2 were 'Can I just have some gas and air as soon as possible please?!'