Want to adopt in the future, but have fears.

CowgirlBaby

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So I am currently single, living with my parents, going back to school. So this of course, wouldn't be until after I'm done school, have my own living situation etc. I have been thinking about how I want to adopt, specifically I wish to adopt a minority child, who otherwise may be less likely to get adopted. A disabled child, child of colour, indigenous child etc. However my best friend and I were up visiting my god son not that long ago, due to anxieties and stuff regarding my god son's mother whom I am no longer in contact with, I hadn't seen Daemon in two years,when we went up Daemon instantly connected with my best friend and wanted nothing to do with me, so I didn't really get to connect and bond with him.

Skip forward to yesterday when my best friend and I went out for lunch, we were talking about babies and kids, and my best friend said I don't seem to like kids between ages 4-12. I seem to like babies, like it when they're easy and then lose interest when they get older. Which isn't the case. I just don't really know how to connect well with children 4-12 years old. I connect easier with babies and teenagers. I want to learn to connect with kids ages 4-12 though, because I know when I adopt I may end up with a child in that age range.

I'm afraid of becoming a parent I would hate and being unable to connect with a child in that age range. Does it get easier when you adopt/have your own? Any suggestions on how I can learn to connect with that age range? I am going to spend more time with my god son, just going up for visits by myself without my best friend. Trying to spend more time with my co workers daughter Emily who is 11. I am also going to be getting some psychiatric help for the fact that I had an iffy childhood in that age range, so I blocked most of that time period out. I wanna become the best parent I can.

Any other resources I can look into? Am I possibly over thinking what she said? Counting down the time till I can consider adopting!
 

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